Subtle Deceptions

I think I am beginning to understand what it truly means to war against satan. This is a war which one do not have the privilege of letting one's guard down even for a moment, for subtlety is one of the devil's most ancient of devices to use. Sometimes I am even subject to this even when I myself am not aware of it.

It began on Monday, the subtle change took place, one I was not aware of until today. A drowsiness that was quite unnatural but completely founded on logical reasoning  attacked me. It was my off day, I had every desire to rest and rest I did. Although looking back that was my rest and not Yahweh's. Perhaps that was when it discreetly began. In my rest I had plenty of sleep, it was good sleep that I enjoyed. However that sleep carried over unto the night. I was suddenly charged to lead worship that day and needless to say, the drowsiness took hold of me during worship. It was quite a struggle for me to keep my eyes open and lead worship. The rest had a good laugh at my predicament, imagine a worship leader on the verge of falling backwards out of sleepiness. But that wasn't sleepiness, it was warfare.

Praise Yahweh that halfway through aunty Philo saw through and helped me out. In that short respite Yahweh by His mercy refreshed me and led the worship. All glory to Him! However the drowsy effect took its toll the next day during work. Though I had plenty rest I still had to put up quite the fight against this encroaching sleepiness during the farm work. Once again, Yahweh refreshed me halfway through and the work went on smoothly.

The subtlety of living up to everyone's expectation is another fight that I personally had to go through. During the worship on Tuesday where I was once again bestowed the privilege to worship again, I felt the intensity of the struggle within me. Subtle but effective, I must say. But praise Yahweh that whatever is born of Elohim had overcome the world. Now, this deception looking back was quite the monstrosity despite its meek looks. One could easily fall into it just like any other thing. The fine line between the joy of serving Yahweh and the obligation to serve Yahweh is so thin like a tightrope that with one slip, one might fall into the latter category. Though we truly are obliged to serve Yahweh, because He has redeemed us from the world and its prince, it must not become a 'have to' rather than a 'want to'. I am not entirely sure how to describe it. To go through the motions day in day out sometimes takes its toll but the thing is with the Lord, every day is different. So much so that even if the same thing is repeated every day it will still be different. After all, the mercies of Yahweh are new every morning. It's best if we don't fall to the same sin of monotony like the children of Israel in the wilderness. Although they had the privilege of tasting the manna from heaven and to see miracles daily, they fell into monotony and desired something more.

-Wednesday, 29th October 2015, 1 month 21 days, 1012