November and more

With this November is coming to a close. My oh my how Yahweh is looking at me. It feels like now every opportunity given is a time of testing for me to see whether the heart is aligned to Elohim or not. Whether by circumstances or people the Holy Spirit is most certainly at work to cleanse me from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of Elohim. This month was a trying month. Trying won't even begin to cover what has happened to me. In the natural it all looks fine and dandy but inside, storms were beating down my house. The waves came up and the rain came down, trying to beat me into submission but thanks be to Yeshua Messiah, the Rock on which the house is built. He preserves me until the end of it.

Truly Yahweh is sitting in the heavens and laughing. Laughing at what I am going through. What seems so significant to me is so insignificant in His grand design for me. All this trials, temptations of mine is for my benefit and not to my destruction for tribulations produces perseverance. And perseverance character, and character hope. To rejoice even in the midst of the storm, to even be at rest in the Messiah betwixt a rock and a hard place. This month I feel that Yahweh is drilling that into me that in all things I have been made more than a conqueror. Everything is subject to me and there is nothing that is not under my feet. And yet sometimes when the reality of warfare comes to me, I find the application of said promise is harder than first thought.

The main bringer of my troubles was whether or not she herself knew was my sister. Oh, how wonderful Elohim has been moving in her life so much so that she has overtaken me. And yet sometimes her words, they sting. They cut harder than a knife. Mixing the Word of Elohim with a prejudiced outlook on things especially when she keeps butting in to people's personal matters is like a high strung guitar string. If it don't cut you first it will break. My family more so. A rag tag bunch of people each with different personalities and what not. A negative sense of impulsiveness, a tendency to soften blows and the need to have the last word makes life together like dangling on a tightrope. And yet, Elohim have mercy; they are my family, my beloved family. I could ask for none worse and yet none better than them.

Perhaps I am being judgemental, prejudiced in my thinking, the fault in the end of the day lies with me. Who am I? I am nothing more than dust and ashes and the people around me. Do I have any rights to demand from my Maker anything at all? What do I see in others that I do not see in myself? In the end, it begins with me but it will also end with that. And I thank Elohim for releasing me from all my complaints, my frustration towards myself and others. Of course, the fullness of the closure of the matter is still in question. The Christian walk is not a sprint, it's an endurance run. The road long, harsh and yet our Keeper refreshes, guides us in the way everlasting. Casting all cares upon Him, He will surely care for us. Ah, to dwell in complaints for others is unprofitable to me. Let's just forgive, forget and continue the road given me to walk. Praise You Yeshua for November. A trying time but a time well learned in the end.

-Saturday, 28th November 2015, 2 months 21 days, 1912