Weak. I am weak but that is precisely why I am glad. It is in my weakness that I come to the realisation of my necessity for the Saviour, Yeshua. It does not become an obligation but rather a constant dependence upon Him for anything and everything. Earlier today I had trouble once again with the carnal flesh and its ways. Needless to say, one thing led to another and I had succumbed rather than overcame. That predicament practically messed up the flow of the remainder of the day for me. But praise Yeshua because he whom the Son sets free is free indeed! During the weekly Wednesday Prayer Meeting I had trouble flowing in the Spirit for the first few songs. Yet what my father said came to mind. Sometimes, if Yahweh is not in the music, He will be found in the silence. Thus, I quieted myself in the midst of worship and found Yahweh, to the praise of the glory of His grace.
In that precise moment, my prayers though they once felt like they were bouncing off the walls finally made a connection to Elohim. I confessed my sin and inability to overcome the enemy for that season and repented. Praise Yahweh, He heard my voice and forgave me. I felt a great burden left me and I was able to flow once again. Now looking back I can plainly see that all this only proves that my strength, my hope, my everyday living, even my very life is in the hands of the Almighty. It is not what I can do for what I am able to do is but filthy rags, not how I behave because there is no one good save Elohim, not who I am because I am just dust and ashes. It is all to You, oh Yeshua my Deliverer.
To me, I feel that the expectation of others are starting to slowly overwhelm me. But now I thank Yahweh for this season because though this might just be premonition based on thin air, times are soon changing. The winds of change are blowing and a gale force of transformation both in the Spirit and in the natural is about to take place. Whether weeks, months or years; I just have this sensation about me. During this time surely Yeshua is dealing with me. To no longer leave the door ajar for the enemy to creep in, to ensure that the expectation of what people want of me does not influence who Yahweh calls me to be in His Son, to discern between what is holy and what is seemingly holy etc. So many things to learn, so many things to know, so many things to be done but surely if Elohim is for me, who can be against me? If all this is from Him then He will surely bring them in their due times. Let others take the glory onstage, I am content to work behind curtains. I waited patiently for Yahweh and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.
-Thursday, 5th November 2015, 1 month 28/29 days, 0033
I received an email from your bible college on yr papers. I must say that I am pretty impressed about your papers. It given me some thoughts that need correction. All the while I perceive you as someone who is not a thinker, someone airy in the head. But I am so wrong, evidently there's a lots going on up there. I apologise for failing to spot them.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless as I see that in you, I begin to understand that you are a person thst is ruled by your intellect and there is a danger that you are subdued by it. It will hinder your spirituality as you seek to understand and rationalise it. It harm will be great deception for you will basked in the praises for men and failed to see the harm. It will be calamity and a disaster for you.
This something you must be aware of. Let Holy Spirit have a dominion over your personality and that way your intellect can be enhance as well as your inner spirit may also excel.
Throughout history, intellectuals find their intellect actually hinder their seeking Yahweh. They are caught with their intellect and try to define and confine Yahweh in their little box of 'wisdom' to their utter foolishness