You know considering that recently I have been involved heavily with so many different duties and agendas I am somewhat relaxed right now. Not that I was at the beginning though. I really racked my head to try to balance it all out without nothing left behind nor leftover. It really took a toll on me and also factoring in the fact that I have never had any experience whatsoever with recording music, the levels peaked. Recording music, vocals, mixing, balancing, bouncing; all these things I had no idea how to operate and what more how to produce a beautiful track. It was as though I was groping in the dark. But thankfully there were those around me who have had experience in such matters and as such guided me as much as they were able to teach in conjunction to how much I was able to absorb. Needless to say they were many times I mucked up and was reprimanded because of it. I dreaded that, but really there is not one person I've met thus far that enjoys getting scolded.
This really oppressed me plenty. But over the course of my days in the recording team for the new album to come, I have received my breakthrough. And that breakthrough unsurprisingly came from Psalm 141:5:
[Psa 141:5] Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
This really opened my eyes to see that indeed Yahweh rewards those who diligently seek after Him. What I mean by that is that a long while ago I had once prayed to Yahweh that in Yeshua's name He would take me and break me from my pride and haughty ways. That He would thoroughly shake and break me so that I may be remoulded into the ideal vessel of honour unto Him, sanctified and useful for the Master and prepared for every good work. Through all these it really struck a hard blow to my ego and now I see that it is a good thing. My prayers are getting answered and through all these breaking down I am being rebuilt up on the Foundation tried and sure, Yeshua Messiah.
I realised a while back that the greatest blessings come in the midst of hardships. Sure, we can receive breakthroughs in our times of rest and peace but it is when there is confrontation that there also will be breakthrough. Just like how David through Elohim broke through all his enemies like water, so too is it the same with us.
[1Ch 14:11] So they came up to Baal-perazim; and David smote them there. Then David said, Elohim hath broken in upon mine enemies by mine hand like the breaking forth of waters: therefore they called the name of that place Baal-perazim.
Confrontation with the enemies of our soul is a good thing because they bring with them the breakthrough that we seek. The house of Yahweh is situated beyond the valley of the shadow of death and one must pass through it to enter His sanctuary as in Psalm 23. In the same psalm it is given unto me the revelation by the Holy Spirit that Yahweh prepares for us His people a banqueting feast in the midst of our enemies. The greatest of joys are found in the midst of sorrows because unless we know what we have lost then only do we treasure what we still have left and will continue to receive from Yahweh.
I found out a long time ago that of all the breakthroughs I have received, one of the greatest I have gained is from their borne from adversity and contention. I remember that there was a brother who was at odds against me. It was over something really petty but apparently to him it mattered a great deal. Not going into the matter further, one day after months of him avoiding me and refusing to talk to me the strife within broke out like rushing water. He pulled me one side to berate me and scold me for things long past. I realised during his reprimand by the prompting of the Holy Spirit that this is the time for the breakthrough for the both of us. For me because it is the effective working of the Spirit within which fueled me with so much joy for my brother being set free and for him because at long last this burden is taken off him through this. I wasn't angry with him despite the things he said, rather I was glad in my heart that at last he is a free man in Messiah once again no longer bound prisoner by past hurts and meager contentions. We reconciled and have long since moved on. Praise Yahweh for that and for him.
Thus I look forward to the revealing of my faults and failures because it is in these times that I am reminded that I stand not because of myself but because of Yeshua in me, my hope of glory. The errors of my ways causes me to always look unto Yeshua acknowledging my constant need for His intervention and taking over in my life. If I was perfect I know within my heart full well that I would not need Yeshua one bit but because of His great mercy He shows me areas still lacking in my life and that causes me to cleave onto Him all the more. Troubles and anguish may come but in the end it is the Living Word of Elohim within us that keeps moving us onto perfection. Praise Yahweh for that.
-Monday, 9th January 2017, 1 year 4 months 2 days, 0401
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