In the end, we still have so much to learn from the Holy Spirit, from one another. I keep getting reminded again and again that the Elohim that I serve and worship will always use unconventional means to get across to me His Word. Be it circumstance or people or even timely locations and whatnot, everything and everyone has a Word for me for the season. And now I keep realising that I still have much of myself remaining in me. So much pride, so much of the self that sometimes it really vexes me greatly. However, I do believe that in this time Yahweh is doing something I have always asked but never seem to come to the full comprehension of it until it is too late. Break me.
The breaking has begun and it is not pretty. When a shelter is broken the pests scurry away and are exposed. When a vase is broken then its contents are revealed for all to see. And even now I believe that this is beginning not just for myself but even for the rest of us young people as well. Elohim knows that we have need for it simply because we are too proud to ask for it ourselves. And the cracks are beginning to emerge, little areas in the life are being magnified to the extent that what could be easily overlooked is now in plain sight. And it is good for each of us to go through a time of shaking. It simply means that we have yet need to cling onto Yeshua all the more because we see the fault lies within ourselves. We need Him much more than He would need us, in fact there is nothing we can add or contribute to His greatness really. Before Him we are nothing and yet without Him we are worse off than nothing. How odd and still this is the situation that I do desire Yahweh to cause me to see.
This indeed is the time for Elohim to arise and when He arises everything scatters away. None dare stand before His presence and much more now that He has arisen over us, His people; we find that whether we like it or not, we are coming to an end of everything we once knew and held onto. Only the Word will remain but until and even during the time of the shakings, will we be shaken upwards or shaken asunder by it all? There is nothing that we can do but to hold onto our Rock which is higher than us and to go through the tempest together with Him. Doubtless He will not wait for us if we falter, His will must be done after all and yet in His graciousness towards us He still waits for us. But even so there will be an end to just how patient our Elohim will be to someone who is unwilling to change according to the working of His Spirit.
This is the second part. I had a brief respite during the Friday overnight prayer to gather my thoughts and settle any lingering, unwanted debts left unpaid between me and Elohim and I must say I am feeling completely set free once again. Sometimes, we tend to stall our time to overcome simply because we actually don't want to overcome. As I was under oppression, never have I felt completely justified of myself except when in that moment of time. Surely I am in the right, not they. They ought to be the ones to reconcile and not me, I have done nothing to do so. Such pride and arrogance I hold in me now that the time has past for it. Looking back, it was such a bitter sweet feeling holding onto said oppression. It is to my own hurt, true; however it just felt so good and right that I found it so hard to let it go. However, as every confrontation with the Holy Spirit goes; you either submit or lose yourself in the Way. And the pride of life most certainly does not want to submit.
In the end, we must continue onwards whether we feel like it or not because the will of Elohim for each generation has and will always be accomplished, whether or not we will be there to witness it first hand. Though He is gracious unto us, He will not wait on us; we are the ones that wait on Him and follow Him wherever His Spirit takes us to. Even if it means the valley of the shadow of death. However, as we continue onwards we are given the promise that with each step forward we take is one step closer to Yeshua Messiah and one step onwards in the fulfillment of the Divine will of Elohim in our lives. There is no time to be stuck in speed bumps, as much as it hurts we must continue forward with Messiah because we have no choice. The world's perishing and the only Way to life is first through the death of ourselves on the cross. And what a painful death it shall be before we experience the unsearchable riches of Messiah Yeshua for ourselves.
-Saturday, 25th March 2017, 1 year 6 months 18 days, 0549
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