Rejuvenation

The preparation for the trip has been meticulous and thorough to say the least. And I am privileged to be able to be prepared by Yahweh in going for this trip to the Holy Land. And the preparation which He gives not only encompasses the physical, but even the emotional and spiritual being of myself. For that I am ever grateful because in the last few days I have received much of the refining and moulding of Elohim that I've been humbled and humbled good. In my imperfections I see the perfection of Yeshua and for that I am glad because when I see how I am yet made perfect I rejoice. Because that means that inasmuch as I have attained, of all things I have learnt and experienced; there is still yet much more that there is for the Holy Spirit to teach me and impart to me.

This is just the day before we depart and I've recently once again undergone yet another trial and by the grace of Messiah He has brought me out to a broad place. All in all, I am amazed at the work that Yahweh has done in my life thus far. I could never have imagined that my situations could be resolved so easily as it is now. In fact, if it was the me from a year ago I would be hard pressed and perplexed as to what ought to be done. I would have been obstinate and so set in my ways that I wouldn't budge but now it feels like I've become ever so malleable. To be able to flow whenever and wherever should the need arise. However, that is not the case for all times and even if it is for most times; if it is not for all then I still have yet much more to acquire from Yeshua by the Spirit.

I'm excited because now yet another yoke has been loosed from me and now I see just exactly who walks the road which I wall in the Spirit. And that road encompasses only Elohim and myself. Going into this trip, I find that the best solace would be solace in Messiah and that my comforts and consolation come from Him and Him alone. What need have I now to look at others? They have their own purpose and calling in Messiah just as I have and they have their own road and journey to traverse just as I do. However, to one He has given the road to be ever pleasant and to the other a road paved with much tribulation although both roads in Messiah leads to the same Way.

I was always puzzled at the parable of the workers with the same wages. Although some worked from the beginning of the day and some came in at the last minute, all groups receive the same wage, a denarius. At first I too found that unfair but then I realise, this parable speaks of salvation and our journey in Yeshua. Some have been here since the beginning and have borne the brunt of the sun but some, and I believe that I am of the latter end; come in at the end and partake of the harvest that the former had laboured in. This isn't unfair, though it may seem so. The Scriptures declare that he who sows will rejoice with he who reaps together as one.

[Joh 4:36-38] And he that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth fruit unto life eternal: that both he that soweth and he that reapeth may rejoice together. And herein is that saying true, One soweth, and another reapeth. I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labour: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours.

From this I found much comfort, not in the fact that I need not labour for what I reap although I do; but I am comforted that each of us has a separate and special calling in Elohim. All that Yeshua is concerned is that we be concerned firstly not with our own flesh and blood, our own kin but rather our walk with Him first. When Peter asked Yeshua about the fate of John, He simply answered:

[Joh 21:21-22] Peter seeing him saith to Yeshua, Lord, and what shall this man do? Yeshua saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou Me.

Although I knew about this, now I know first hand. My road is paved just for me and Elohim to walk together and no one can touch it. It is the same for others and for the times that I have intervened in them thinking that I knew better, I repent because I did not know what I do. In ignorance I had done thus but shall do no longer. I am reinvigorated and refreshed like never before because now, like Paul has said I have been released from a yoke so that I no longer care so much so for my brethren. They too are in the hands of my Elohim just as I know I am and they shall be fine, Elohim willing. I now need only care and to take care whether I continuously walk in the will of Elohim or not. Truly, praise Yahweh.

-Sunday, 17th September 2017, 2 years 10 days, 1251

Two Years

The past few days have been quite interesting, however worth noting is that once again a new season of Yahweh is here and it becomes even more personal as time flies by. It is hard to imagine that more than two years have elapsed already in my time serving Elohim in His house and I have seen so much, experienced plenty, been riding higher and brought lower than I can fathom, but more so that I can witness the Spirit of the living Elohim working His effective workings in my life in leading me up till this point of time. However much I've learnt and gained and have, yet still much more and greater things which are yet to come in due time. I've merely just begun my journey with Messiah and I see my end goal far ahead. However, we each have to start somewhere and that somewhere has gone by in a span of two years ever so quickly.

Perhaps this time is just a time to commemorate and ponder upon the wondrous works that Yahweh has done in my life in bringing me here to this point of my journey with Him. Actually, even as I write this I've realised one thing that the gifts and the calling of Elohim are without repentance. What He has given unto us He will not revoke simply because that is His Word but then the ball falls in our courts to properly use the gifts and the anointing given unto us. Through this I've realised one thing lately because of certain incidents. Let's begin from the beginning:

I did not sleep at all this past Wednesday, only receiving a few hours' of napping would suffice for it as I believed. So, when my work was ended I rushed to Semarak so that I could rest before the Wednesday Prayer Meeting began but 5 minutes into my sweet rest, Megan called. She was indubitably irritable because I had left without telling her when she wanted to follow me and thus I was needed to drive back there and pick her up. I didn't want to because I knew I would pose a liability to myself and her should I drive sleep-hungry as I am in that moment. Knowing this, I believed and spoke that Yahweh would supply her with the transport she needed to come to Semarak early as she pleases. As I told this to her, she thought I was joking and outright rejected the help I gave to her. In the end, I had to return for her but 5 minutes into my drive back to Glory Place, she rang once more. That was when I knew Yahweh had intervened, He had supplied her transport as I knew He would. However, she really peeved me off when she said she didn't want to trouble me and just allowed me to make the drive all the way to GP and back for her.

I was waiting for her to tell me that she would follow the van here so that I could return back for a few more minutes of my nap, I even pressed her to tell me that because from her hesitation I already knew my prayers have been answered. Nonetheless, it all went a different route altogether. All I could do was laugh and praise Yahweh for that but one such thing that the Holy Spirit stirred within me was to limit myself to speak with her. There was nothing to speak and there was nothing to retort, many times the fires of strife blaze because we don't know how to close our mouths. In the end, the ride back to Semarak and GP after the meeting was quiet, as I'd like. But there was no resentment, no bitterness, I wasn't even angry. I was just motioned to have nothing to say and it was a good time. A time where I could just once again enter silence.

Through this I realise, I'm no role model. I never wanted to be one. When Megan told me that I was being a terrible role model I just shrugged her off. I really just don't care about setting an example for people to follow. Why follow me when I have so many faults at hand? Just look up people, look at Yeshua then everything will be fine. When I came to serve, I remember the road Yahweh showed to me at the beginning and it's a road that is not paved, but a road that only He has prepared for me. Only I can walk this road He calls for and so I have no reason to care about many things either beyond or about me. With what He puts into my heart thus I would do, but otherwise you can expect me not to lift a finger. I didn't come to serve Yahweh to become a role model, I came to serve simply that it would be me and Him. To be very frank about all this, though I am acquainted with many people and am bonded with my family by blood, there is no real drawing of them to me nor vice versa. Only for two people have I felt the intense pulling of Messiah towards them to be heavily involved in their lives. Perhaps one day I will tell you readers.

People expect many things of me, they really shouldn't because the more they expect of me, the less I'll do to meet said expectations. If they truly want something done, then commit it to the hands of the Holy Spirit and pray that He might impart it for me to do those things which are beyond me and I will. I found that the more concerned I became about many things, the more I found myself powerless to change matters. In the end, everything lies in the hands of Yeshua and for these two years He has never failed me though I may have failed Him many a times. As I continue to look unto Him and remain in Him, all things worketh out for good as it should be. These past two years have been interesting but I know that the days ahead shall be far more so than ever before. Praise Yahweh for that.

-Saturday, 9 September 2017, 2 years 2 days, 0247

Deliverance in the Camps

We have just finished the prayer advance and more than anything, it was a time of deep cleansing and scrubbing for the house and people of Elohim. During this seminar, many things have cropped up and they were not pleasant things. However, it is good that they manifest. It just means that the cleansing is in effect. There is really not much to speak about this prayer advance because I had already blogged the majority of what I've experienced in the previous post. However, I believe that Yahweh is doing a most wonderful work in our midst in these last days and surely when the revival comes as we have prayed, then we will be ready because He is cleansing us of all impurities.

I've been praying for deliverance to occur in Zion and so Yeshua has graciously answered my prayer. In retrospect, had I known what I must go through I would not have been so thorough with my prayers to purge and break me. Today as the day closes, deliverance has come upon me. I feel completely out of it, lethargic, weary, with a splitting headache, and continuously falling asleep here for the entire day. And it wasn't just me, other people as well were really feeling the oppressiveness in the air and were none better because of it. However, I also had to go through a time of continuous purging today. It might have been the curry that I ate yesterday which was spoiled beyond belief, then again it is simply time that I excavated all that was within me. I realise that the curry doesn't have much to do with it, though it may have been the catalyst. This is the deliverance that I've been praying to come upon me and it would be a shame of face if I didn't take it as I ought.

More than anything, I've realised that Yeshua truly is merciful and gracious unto me. All that I've prayed and spoken to Him about was in one way or another confirmed and I believe that He is bringing forth something great and marvellous. After all, His works are indeed great and marvellous. Not to say that everything is going my way, but that Elohim is taking me down a road where I can see that everything and everyone has a part and purpose in my continual growth in my walk with Messiah. And perhaps the same could be said of Megan, my sister.

The road ahead is marked with many a things, some good and some for our betterment. Nonetheless, it is for our good that all things occur in our lives, Yahweh intends to bring something awesome forth from all this. And so, let it be done. In Yeshua's name. Amen.

-Sunday, 3rd September 2017, 1 year 11 months 27 days, 2200