Two Years

The past few days have been quite interesting, however worth noting is that once again a new season of Yahweh is here and it becomes even more personal as time flies by. It is hard to imagine that more than two years have elapsed already in my time serving Elohim in His house and I have seen so much, experienced plenty, been riding higher and brought lower than I can fathom, but more so that I can witness the Spirit of the living Elohim working His effective workings in my life in leading me up till this point of time. However much I've learnt and gained and have, yet still much more and greater things which are yet to come in due time. I've merely just begun my journey with Messiah and I see my end goal far ahead. However, we each have to start somewhere and that somewhere has gone by in a span of two years ever so quickly.

Perhaps this time is just a time to commemorate and ponder upon the wondrous works that Yahweh has done in my life in bringing me here to this point of my journey with Him. Actually, even as I write this I've realised one thing that the gifts and the calling of Elohim are without repentance. What He has given unto us He will not revoke simply because that is His Word but then the ball falls in our courts to properly use the gifts and the anointing given unto us. Through this I've realised one thing lately because of certain incidents. Let's begin from the beginning:

I did not sleep at all this past Wednesday, only receiving a few hours' of napping would suffice for it as I believed. So, when my work was ended I rushed to Semarak so that I could rest before the Wednesday Prayer Meeting began but 5 minutes into my sweet rest, Megan called. She was indubitably irritable because I had left without telling her when she wanted to follow me and thus I was needed to drive back there and pick her up. I didn't want to because I knew I would pose a liability to myself and her should I drive sleep-hungry as I am in that moment. Knowing this, I believed and spoke that Yahweh would supply her with the transport she needed to come to Semarak early as she pleases. As I told this to her, she thought I was joking and outright rejected the help I gave to her. In the end, I had to return for her but 5 minutes into my drive back to Glory Place, she rang once more. That was when I knew Yahweh had intervened, He had supplied her transport as I knew He would. However, she really peeved me off when she said she didn't want to trouble me and just allowed me to make the drive all the way to GP and back for her.

I was waiting for her to tell me that she would follow the van here so that I could return back for a few more minutes of my nap, I even pressed her to tell me that because from her hesitation I already knew my prayers have been answered. Nonetheless, it all went a different route altogether. All I could do was laugh and praise Yahweh for that but one such thing that the Holy Spirit stirred within me was to limit myself to speak with her. There was nothing to speak and there was nothing to retort, many times the fires of strife blaze because we don't know how to close our mouths. In the end, the ride back to Semarak and GP after the meeting was quiet, as I'd like. But there was no resentment, no bitterness, I wasn't even angry. I was just motioned to have nothing to say and it was a good time. A time where I could just once again enter silence.

Through this I realise, I'm no role model. I never wanted to be one. When Megan told me that I was being a terrible role model I just shrugged her off. I really just don't care about setting an example for people to follow. Why follow me when I have so many faults at hand? Just look up people, look at Yeshua then everything will be fine. When I came to serve, I remember the road Yahweh showed to me at the beginning and it's a road that is not paved, but a road that only He has prepared for me. Only I can walk this road He calls for and so I have no reason to care about many things either beyond or about me. With what He puts into my heart thus I would do, but otherwise you can expect me not to lift a finger. I didn't come to serve Yahweh to become a role model, I came to serve simply that it would be me and Him. To be very frank about all this, though I am acquainted with many people and am bonded with my family by blood, there is no real drawing of them to me nor vice versa. Only for two people have I felt the intense pulling of Messiah towards them to be heavily involved in their lives. Perhaps one day I will tell you readers.

People expect many things of me, they really shouldn't because the more they expect of me, the less I'll do to meet said expectations. If they truly want something done, then commit it to the hands of the Holy Spirit and pray that He might impart it for me to do those things which are beyond me and I will. I found that the more concerned I became about many things, the more I found myself powerless to change matters. In the end, everything lies in the hands of Yeshua and for these two years He has never failed me though I may have failed Him many a times. As I continue to look unto Him and remain in Him, all things worketh out for good as it should be. These past two years have been interesting but I know that the days ahead shall be far more so than ever before. Praise Yahweh for that.

-Saturday, 9 September 2017, 2 years 2 days, 0247