Softening

There's nothing much to note of at the moment except perhaps I may share what the Lord has been doing to me especially. I feel my heart melting, its hardness breaking itself into soft moulds and I feel as though the Holy Spirit is moulding me into the person He wants me to become. By melting I mean it in a good way, the hard heartedness of my heart melts into one that not only can relate but more so touched the presence of Yahweh intimately. Now, it seems that whenever I worship and especially when I pray that the presence of Yahweh threatens to overwhelm me so and cause me to break down and cry. For the very simply fact that I sense the presence of Yahweh I am brought into the light of His Son and I see my own wickedness and shame, but His great patience and love towards me. All the more leading me to cry silently and give thanks to the Lord Yeshua for His immense love towards someone like me. 

Another occasion would be when I had a brief quarrel with one of the people whom I'm serving with. Well, I say quarrel but it was more on my part than anyone else's. The person in question talked to me during the monthly staff and helpers fast and prayer after one of the sessions was over and their voice carried an edge with it. Clearly they were irritated when they spoke to me but whether it was something I did or something done to them and they releasing their tension with me I cannot say because I do not know. But I know that the more I dwelt on it the more perturbed and irritated I became as well. 

Later in the night the person apologised to me for the way they acted but during that time I had thought to test the patience of my friend. Everyone who truly knows me knows that I reply at a brisk pace to their messages, because I myself cannot stand when someone sees my message on WhatsApp and only answers it an hour later or so. I in turn do not treat them as such but and we briskly and at once, after all: 

Mat 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Luk 6:31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

The words of our Lord Himself. So I answer immediately to the best of my ability and convenience. But for this particular case I was still irritated with my friend here so I thought I would just see their message and then reply them who knows when, you know to get the blood pumping and the worries worrying. But as I slept on this, I couldn't sleep because I knew what I was doing. And yet in my stubbornness I did not relent neither did I repent of it until the next session when this beautiful, marvellous friend of mine came to me after the session was over. They told me I didn't reply then and asked if I was okay and that broke my heart, rather it softened it to the point where I immediately made up with them and repented to Yahweh for my foolish ways. Elohim forgive me for all the grief I have caused You, myself, and others. The moment they asked me if I was okay I could no longer remain angry with them. Rather, the need to get angry was such a struggle for me to carry it over to the next day. I had to constantly remember what that person said and did and even then when I looked at them I would naturally soften my heart towards them, so it took so much effort on my part to maintain the irritation. It wasn't worth it by the way. 

In the end, we reconciled. Actually, my friend hardly knew that I had something against them but it worked out well in the end and we continued our serving of Yahweh unhindered. Praise Yahweh for that. So yes, these are the last days and the Word for the last days are indeed coming to pass. 

Mal 4:5-6 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the YAHWEH: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

1Ki 18:37 Hear me, O YAHWEH, hear me, that this people may know that Thou art YAHWEH Elohim, and that Thou hast turned their heart back again.

Amen. 

-Tuesday, 14th January 2020, 4 years 4 months 7 days, 0124