November and more

With this November is coming to a close. My oh my how Yahweh is looking at me. It feels like now every opportunity given is a time of testing for me to see whether the heart is aligned to Elohim or not. Whether by circumstances or people the Holy Spirit is most certainly at work to cleanse me from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of Elohim. This month was a trying month. Trying won't even begin to cover what has happened to me. In the natural it all looks fine and dandy but inside, storms were beating down my house. The waves came up and the rain came down, trying to beat me into submission but thanks be to Yeshua Messiah, the Rock on which the house is built. He preserves me until the end of it.

Truly Yahweh is sitting in the heavens and laughing. Laughing at what I am going through. What seems so significant to me is so insignificant in His grand design for me. All this trials, temptations of mine is for my benefit and not to my destruction for tribulations produces perseverance. And perseverance character, and character hope. To rejoice even in the midst of the storm, to even be at rest in the Messiah betwixt a rock and a hard place. This month I feel that Yahweh is drilling that into me that in all things I have been made more than a conqueror. Everything is subject to me and there is nothing that is not under my feet. And yet sometimes when the reality of warfare comes to me, I find the application of said promise is harder than first thought.

The main bringer of my troubles was whether or not she herself knew was my sister. Oh, how wonderful Elohim has been moving in her life so much so that she has overtaken me. And yet sometimes her words, they sting. They cut harder than a knife. Mixing the Word of Elohim with a prejudiced outlook on things especially when she keeps butting in to people's personal matters is like a high strung guitar string. If it don't cut you first it will break. My family more so. A rag tag bunch of people each with different personalities and what not. A negative sense of impulsiveness, a tendency to soften blows and the need to have the last word makes life together like dangling on a tightrope. And yet, Elohim have mercy; they are my family, my beloved family. I could ask for none worse and yet none better than them.

Perhaps I am being judgemental, prejudiced in my thinking, the fault in the end of the day lies with me. Who am I? I am nothing more than dust and ashes and the people around me. Do I have any rights to demand from my Maker anything at all? What do I see in others that I do not see in myself? In the end, it begins with me but it will also end with that. And I thank Elohim for releasing me from all my complaints, my frustration towards myself and others. Of course, the fullness of the closure of the matter is still in question. The Christian walk is not a sprint, it's an endurance run. The road long, harsh and yet our Keeper refreshes, guides us in the way everlasting. Casting all cares upon Him, He will surely care for us. Ah, to dwell in complaints for others is unprofitable to me. Let's just forgive, forget and continue the road given me to walk. Praise You Yeshua for November. A trying time but a time well learned in the end.

-Saturday, 28th November 2015, 2 months 21 days, 1912

Mighty to Save, Mighty to Work

Well now, this is quite the fanciful and rather fruitful fellowship. The Lagenda fellowship; a fellowship with a group of Africans from different regions such as Nigeria and Zimbabwe gathering together every Monday for prayer, worship, and the sharing of the Word. Emeka; Josiah's elder brother who received the miraculous healing touch of Yeshua in the complete removal of his severe dizziness, houses the fellowship in his apartment. Swinfield, Julius and "God is good"; yes, there is a Nigerian brother by the name of "God is good"! The fellowship began at 8pm and the time it ends varies from time to time. One can easily go from one end of the extreme to the other: from 11pm until 1am the next day even. Today has been rather refreshing to say the least. The Word of Elohim was greatly distributed for the edification of the body of Messiah and the presence of Elohim, the Spirit of revelation was most certainly present.

One such topic that was greatly debated amongst one another: the importance; but not presiding over the faith in Yeshua Messiah, of works in the Christian walk. Now naturally all of us agreed that the overemphasis of works with the negligence of actually knowing Yeshua Messiah will lead to the casting away of the lawless ones in the last days. What can be said of works however is this: that faith in the Son of Elohim is the guarantor of entryway into the kingdom of Elohim but not the treasures awaiting inside it, whereas works build up the invisible treasures in the kingdom of heaven but we won't gain access into said kingdom. In my personal opinion, the works are not meant to stand on equal terms with the saving faith which we have in Yeshua rather faith precedes works. Faith is truly activated by works and how that happens is actually quite simple so long as the Spirit reveals the deep things.

From the inside out. As we believe in Yeshua Messiah He has promised that rivers of living waters will flow out of our hearts. To where? To the outside and the word that came to me that changed my perception: natural. The waters that flow out of the belly is all natural, in fact supernatural! Wherever the water flows it brings life and who can control water? It flows naturally out so long as the Fount remains unblocked and connected to the Source from above. Such is the doing of works, it will come to us naturally like breathing is to a man to those who continue in this race towards Yeshua. We tend to walk the deceptively fine line between Elohim doing His will and His works in and through us and we asserting ourselves to know the will of Elohim and striving to do His works our way. If Yeshua was incapable without the Father, how much more we who if we are apart can do absolutely nothing? It is after all Elohim who works in us both to will and to do according to His good pleasure. He will do it because He knows we can't. We just have to surrender and cease willing, exerting ourselves to strain for what is always right. Like Paul in Romans 7, everyone has the desire to do good because of the good Spirit of life given to us; only the performance of said will is not present within this fallen body. Whatsoever Paul willed himself to do, it backfired on him. Only when he saw Yeshua as the Way out then was the Christian walk suddenly not so burdensome anymore. For the Spirit of life in Messiah Yeshua made him and we as well free from the condemnation of sin and death. As we continue walking with the Lord He will do the work. As for me, one work has been given by the Messiah and that I should accomplish. In order to work the works Elohim has prepared beforehand, we should believe in Him (Yeshua) whom He (Yahweh) has sent. Amen.

-Tuesday, 24th November 2015, 2 months 17 days, 0245

Closure, and closure to the Finish

With this, the closing down, the shifting to and the finalising of Glory Place Petaling Jaya is all but settled. Matthew Han has informed us that tomorrow we who will be helping with the moving of furniture and the entourage from Glory Place Mantin, without excluding the lorry drivers will be the last group of people to lay our eyes on this former prayer house. To be honest, I don't feel an inkling of anything for this place. It has served Yahweh's purpose in His due time and season and now Yahweh is showing us the next step to take.

As for me, Matthew Han asked me something on which I am pondering on can seem profound in its own sense: where do you see yourself in 5, 10 years time? I am not a seer, Yahweh has seen my beginning to my end already. Yeshua has proclaimed Himself to be the Beginning and the End so why should I worry about something so trivial like where I see myself in 5 or 10 years time? Oftentimes we stress too much on ministry rather than ministering to Yahweh. When we minister to Yahweh first, when we seek His kingdom and Yeshua Messiah; the Righteousness of Elohim made flesh then everything else shall take care of itself. As priests we are called first to minister to our Elohim and then only unto men because how can we give something to others if we ourselves haven't got it? How can we bring people to the Messiah? By our faith? By our works? No for without a confirming action faith is likened as being dead; like unto mental agreement and not by works because works alone directs the glory given not to Yahweh but unto ourselves. Our lives lived by faith is also confirmed by the works we do testify whether we truly are dead in sins and trespasses or alive to Elohim through Messiah.

What I am beginning to wrap my head around is that Yeshua is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, the Author and Finisher of our faith. Surely He that begun a good work in us shall not cease until He sees the full dispensation of it manifest itself in our lives, becoming a testament to His glory. Yeshua has proclaimed to be both the starting line and finish line of our race so what is there to worry, what is there to turn back for? I am beginning to understand how Paul can say the sufferings of present times are not worthy to be compared with the glory soon to be revealed in us. It does not matter in the end what we face, who we face, whether we slip and tumble or fall and hurt ourselves. What matters is that every time there is a hurdle on our racetrack, we overcome it; jump over it and continue to the next one until we reach the end. Even if we fail to do so, who cries in the middle of a race? Get up, dust yourself off and jump, jump again until you overcome. All this for something so perishable like a trophy or a medal.

We strive for something imperishable, treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. Praise Yeshua for the full counsel of His Word that through it we receive the fullness of Elohim through Messiah. The End is in sight, and that Finish line is drawing nearer to us more so than we are sometimes to Him. Yeshua is coming quickly, and He said this 2000 years ago. How much more now? Let's run then.

-Monday, 23rd November 2015, 2 months 16 days, 0015

Memoirs and Healing

Ugh, just recently I caught quite the infectious cold on Tuesday. Sneezing non stop, nose mucous hardening like a desert or alternatively melting like the ice caps without end, coughing and a dry throat, and most of all my strength and energy for the day sapped because of this. All because I decided to work slightly overtime in the rain. But praise be to Yahweh because of His loving kindness which are from of old, and to the Lord Yeshua Messiah for by His stripes, I was healed and made well. During the Wednesday Corporate Prayer Meeting's Holy Communion, I partook of the bread and the cup the same way I always do; in remembrance of what Yeshua did for me on the cross. How he bore all my sins and iniquities, sicknesses and diseases and how through that I received His righteousness and His wholeness, the perfection of the Son of Elohim. As I partook as usual, I was healed.

My strength returned! I was made new! Though the runny nose and the cough is still here by the time of this blog post it has already rapidly diminished from hours before. Before I could not even have reprieve before I would sneeze or cough again and again but now, I can breathe through my nose. Praise Yahweh that those who truly wait upon Him shall renew their strength given the take that I was trying to sleep during the prayer meeting. Truly His merciful kindness is great towards us and His truth endures forever.

To look at the seen only discourages me. In the natural, I have not been healed I still have the cough and runny nose but now as sons of Elohim we live in the unseen. In the supernatural I am made whole from the top of my head down to the tip of my toes. Now, all these 'symptoms' are nothing but like a picture to me. The devil's holding up a picture in front of me to remind me that I am still under him but the thing is: pictures can't hurt me! Though they may bring unpleasant memories, a picture is a thing of the past and soon enough, even pictures will rot away with time. It has no authority in the present neither the future, only the past. If we continue to live in the past we will always be confronted with very real pictures from satan. But we are not supposed to, we look at Yeshua, the Author and Finisher of our faith Who is also the Hope of glory. Hope does not disappoint but brings expectation of things to come and most certainly in the Lord are pleasures forevermore.

On another note, my worship is gradually gaining ground. May Yahweh continue to guide me so through His Holy Spirit. Of course there are times when I can't connect but then again; "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."

The night is far spent, soon the Sun if righteousness shall dawn upon me with healing in His wings. When that day fully comes, what a blessing it is to serve the true, living Elohim.

-Thursday, 19th November 2015, 2 months 12 days, 0032

Rocky Road

Recently I am constantly being reminded that this road that I chose to walk is a difficult one and the gate which passes into eternal life is a narrow one. I find few like minded company on this road and I see that though there are remnants of people also walking the same said road, not all have truly counted the costs fully. Then again I think it is for the best that according to the mercy of Yahweh I did not meet anyone like minded with myself. I once had this picture painted for me: the road humanity walks is a large, broad stretch of asphalt; a highway if you will. Multitudes upon multitudes walk said highway but I have seen the end of the road. A sheer cliff which drops down into the Pit: Hell and many do not realise where they are headed until it is too late. Yet I see a narrow, slit of a way leading out of the highway. The narrow road is rocky, enough for one person to walk at a time, and lonely. Very, very few of the multitudes actually see that road and even fewer choose to walk such a difficult road such as this.

The narrow road ascends upwards, getting all the more narrower and steeper with every passing step. The road spirals around a massive Rock which becomes a Mountain which in turn leads to the heavens; the Heaven of heavens. As the road continues in order to remain on it and not fall off into the Abyss, one must cling to the Rock with all their might lest they slip and fall to their demise. On this road, it is much easier to slip and fall than it is to continue on your journey to the top. And if we do fall, the trek to return where you once faltered becomes a challenge in itself. Very few meet the King of the Mountain and even fewer enter His Kingdom. Only those who have left all, forsaken all even their lives in order to obtain that better country.

Sometimes I see myself on that sheer cliff, looking down at all the people on the highway; laughing and having a jolly good time. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to return, but I know that I can't return. Not ever again, given the choice I would flatly refuse for what awaits me down there is my demise. Yet as I look upwards I see this mighty Rock, and the glory of the Kingdom; its light for all men shining brightly. Beckoning the pilgrims to climb yet further, higher so that they may enter into the joy of their Master at the very end. Sometimes I look at people and their own personal trek upwards, some further ahead than me though younger than me. Some further behind than me though much older than me. Some even have only just begun. Where I stand I do not know but one thing I am grateful to Yeshua Messiah for is that in Him I am progressing, albeit step by step. The pace has been set for me and the Lord has called me to walk this path. How can I return when what awaits me at the top will overshadow all the trials, the afflictions I have endured, am enduring and will go through? Oh, Holy Spirit this is something no mere mortal man like me can do. Guide me for surely I know nothing, have nothing and am nothing without the Messiah. The journey before me looks daunting and yet, all I must do is to look at Yeshua. The mind seeks to wrap itself around what cannot be fathomed with human understanding and yet, I am beginning to be mindful of things unseen. Progression is key and is taking place. All glory to Yahweh Elohim my Heavenly Father!

-Saturday, 14th November 2015, 2 months 7 days, 2303

Art of Worship, Spirit of Prayer

Well, the fast is nearly over and done with. Praise Yahweh for strengthening me because otherwise I would have easily given myself over to all the food around me. One more hour to go and then we can break the fast with dinner. Hallelujah! In this fast I myself have experienced a breakthrough in the Spirit: to pray and to worship in Spirit and in truth.

Worship wise I have come to realise my inconsistency with my form of worship in CRC and in GP. The contrast is quite stark now that I look back and observe carefully. On the one hand, the worship was taken over by the Spirit. Times of refreshing and strengthening came and time just flew overhead while on the other side if the coin, worship was dry. Song after song even though it is the Word of Elohim we are singing, without the Spirit the fullness just isn't there. No time to minister in the Spirit equals an unbalanced worship making one feel like a pivotal Someone just wasn't there to wrap it up nicely. Now I can see and now by the grace of Elohim I am realigning myself to it and I must say it is a new change in perspective. Although sometimes when I worship in GP in the Spirit I find that the move of the Holy Spirit is hindered by the silence of the people. True, there are times when we must keep silent but there are also times when we must worship in Spirit and not just zip our lips. It creates an uncomfortable if not soul sucking vacuum which just blocks out the Spirit. But when we do worship in the Spirit, we ascend higher than ever before. After all, Yeshua said that the Father is seeking those who will worship Him in Sprit and in truth, not just truth alone.

Prayer wise it seems that the Spirit adds diversity to our monotonous prayers. Instead of going through the motions of lip service, I find that when the Spirit prays, He indeed prays. Diversity is added and the prayer needed at that time just finds its way out of me. Of course, one thing I have come to realise; by whom I cannot remember but Yahweh doesn't want us to pray our own prayers, He wants us to pray His prayers. We are exhorted by Paul to be praying always with all prayer and supplication made in the Spirit. When prayers are made it is collected as incense before Yahweh in golden bowls. However one must take heed to not offer profane fire just like Nadab and Abihu did. Meaning that when we pray, we must be mindful of the Spirit so that instead of offending and grieving Him through our prayers for meagre and temporal things, we glorify both the Spirit, the Son, and the Father through our prayers. For Who knows how to pray without ceasing save He that lives in us who ever lives to make intercession for all the saints according to the will of Elohim?

-Friday, 13th November 2015, 2 months 6 days, 1653

Romans 5:3

What a day so far, huh. It began with me being charged with backup for Ryan for worship during the monthly 3 days Esther fast. To be clear, an Esther fast is a fast which completely abstains from food and water for three full days of 72 hours to be more technical. When Esther, her maids, Mordecai and the children of Israel fasted for three full days without food or water, great change took place not only in their lives and circumstances; that fast changed the history and fate of Israel itself. The enemies that sought to destroy them were destroyed themselves and the instigator Haman was hanged in the same gallows he made for the Jews. So an Esther fast is a nation changer, which is why the people of Semarak Revival Centre and Glory Place, Mantin fast together.

Back to the point, it began with worship. Aunty Philo asked me to play my guitar which to be frank is a feat in itself. The strings are taut to the extreme, it takes huge intakes of finger power to press down even one of the 6 strings to get a clear tune much less a chord or a barre. Thanks to that I could not exactly flow in the Spirit in the beginning. But thanks to Yahweh for sending Pastor Bernard to mop things up. On the keyboard he led us into the Spirit and time just seemed to pass so quickly. You know, when comparing my guitar to others, it feels like pressing butter. That's just how easy it is to play on other people's guitars. Praise Yahweh because he literally trained my fingers for war.

In this first day I have received a word from Yahweh. Romans 5:1-5 which is timely to say. I have been undergoing many trials and tribulations in my personal life and was wavering a bit even dreading the next day's order of difficulties. But truly Yahweh is timely, He shall help His people just at the break of dawn. With this I am sure and prepared now for what is to come be it high water or dry valleys it matters no longer. Tribulations builds perseverance, and perseverance character and character hope. So in all the things I am facing even though I might not see it now, my walk with Elohim through Yeshua is being built up slowly, day by day. Through all trials and tribulations, my perseverance is being built up. The persistence to go through no matter what, to weather the storm rather than the storm withers me. Through perseverance character is built. And as my inner character grows, hope is built. Hope upon the unseen so that what is not seen may become seen and the seen unseen. Hope upon the promise of eternal glory through Messiah Yeshua. Now, I am beginning to understand why Paul says to glory in tribulations. Though weeping may endure for a night, joy cones in the morning. What I have faced will not carry further through the day but only for that particular time. But what I have learnt from that particular time will carry until kingdom come. Praise you Yeshua!

-Wednesday, 11th November 2015, 2 months 4 days, 1724

Romans 8:37

Weak. I am weak but that is precisely why I am glad. It is in my weakness that I come to the realisation of my necessity for the Saviour, Yeshua. It does not become an obligation but rather a constant dependence upon Him for anything and everything. Earlier today I had trouble once again with the carnal flesh and its ways. Needless to say, one thing led to another and I had succumbed rather than overcame. That predicament practically messed up the flow of the remainder of the day for me. But praise Yeshua because he whom the Son sets free is free indeed! During the weekly Wednesday Prayer Meeting I had trouble flowing in the Spirit for the first few songs. Yet what my father said came to mind. Sometimes, if Yahweh is not in the music, He will be found in the silence. Thus, I quieted myself in the midst of worship and found Yahweh, to the praise of the glory of His grace.

In that precise moment, my prayers though they once felt like they were bouncing off the walls finally made a connection to Elohim. I confessed my sin and inability to overcome the enemy for that season and repented. Praise Yahweh, He heard my voice and forgave me. I felt a great burden left me and I was able to flow once again. Now looking back I can plainly see that all this only proves that my strength, my hope, my everyday living, even my very life is in the hands of the Almighty. It is not what I can do for what I am able to do is but filthy rags, not how I behave because there is no one good save Elohim, not who I am because I am just dust and ashes. It is all to You, oh Yeshua my Deliverer.

To me, I feel that the expectation of others are starting to slowly overwhelm me. But now I thank Yahweh for this season because though this might just be premonition based on thin air, times are soon changing. The winds of change are blowing and a gale force of transformation both in the Spirit and in the natural is about to take place. Whether weeks, months or years; I just have this sensation about me. During this time surely Yeshua is dealing with me. To no longer leave the door ajar for the enemy to creep in, to ensure that the expectation of what people want of me does not influence who Yahweh calls me to be in His Son, to discern between what is holy and what is seemingly holy etc. So many things to learn, so many things to know, so many things to be done but surely if Elohim is for me, who can be against me? If all this is from Him then He will surely bring them in their due times. Let others take the glory onstage, I am content to work behind curtains. I waited patiently for Yahweh and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.

-Thursday, 5th November 2015, 1 month 28/29 days, 0033