Bible Reading #3

Day 3 entering the final morning now. We are currently at John 18 at the time of this blog and truth be told we are one and a half hour behind time. Now, while everyone is asleep and resting the speediest readers are called to stand on the walls of Jerusalem to keep watch until we have pursued, caught up and overtaken the time allotted us. This Bible Reading is rather exciting and: invigorating to the spirit, soul, and body.

What can I say about this Bible reading? Hmmm... Well, the Word if Elohim is convicting me even now that as I hear the words of Elohim proclaimed over us all here at Glory Place, Mantin. Sharper than any two edged sword, He pierces to the division and tearing asunder of the soul and spirit, the bones and marrows. Thus, through this reading I see plainly that I am still lacking much. It must have been ludicrous of me to say that I have received much when in truth I have yet to go deeper into the deep waters of Yahweh. I merely skirted the edge of His fullness and have yet to step forth boldly before Him to receive from Him His very Being.

Through this Bible Reading I see that I still have a foot left in the world, the phone is slowly consuming me. My time, my sleep, my energy. I believe now that Yahweh has warned me through Megan and His Word more so it is time to sever myself from everything from this world. Yeah, it's about time to stop being double minded about this matter. It's either the world or Elohim, no two ways about it. Praise Yahweh for this Bible Reading through which He is cleansing me, purging me of all alloy so that I may be a pure offering unto Him.

-Thursday, 31st December 2015, 3 months 24 days, 0448

Bible Reading #2

Day 2 and it is rather peculiar this day. It is peculiar to stay up all night until sunrise, it is peculiar to sleep on the sunrise until the afternoon, it is peculiar that I don't find that disrupting or odd; rather I found it quite natural. After all, according to the Bible the day officially begins from evening until morning. It was man who flipped the time from day to night.

This is amazing, this Bible reading. I never knew that through it Elohim would work mightily within me. During the Bible reading the young boys as usual were causing a ruckus in the sanctuary with their noise. Then suddenly, Deon behaved rudely towards Megan despite her being 6 years her senior; he acted pompously like some bigwig and answered her rudely. I snapped. I scolded him in front of others including Pastor Jean. He cried, and Pastor Jean rebuked me as well for not using my head. At first I though I was in the right but in the end Pastor was righter. I disrupted the flow of the Bible Reading with that scolding when I should have brought him outside to somewhere secluded and talked with him rationally. Honestly, if you know those rascals, how they behave, how they speak and act you would just want to give them a well deserving slap to them. Of course, what I blog here remains here on this blog. Ahem!

So Pastor Jean rebuked me for scolding him rashly. Thus, I apologised, he apologised, we made up and awkwardly hugged it out in front of Pastor. Ugh, but in the end I felt refreshed by that exchanged and so did Deon. By evening we were chummy like friends once again, praise Yahweh for that. The thing that surprised me was that I didn't feel offended when Pastor scolded me rather I was greatly refreshed by it. It brought me back to a sound mind and thinking properly about it, I flipped out and flopped out.

Praise Yahweh for revealing, exposing and purging these things out of me. Truly in His presence the powers of darkness, the devil and of the world must be ousted in the name of Yeshua. What a wonderful time and opportunity this is. I am truly glad to be in the house of my Elohim serving Him, though I may be lacking in some areas He fills them with His fullness and soon enough His fullness will be all that remains in me.

Also we are in the book of Job, chapter 7 currently. Hallelujah!

-Tuesday, 29th December 2015, 3 months 22 days, 2242

Bible Reading #1

Going through the Bible Reading 2015 at Glory Place; Prayer Centre of Malaysia, Mantin. It has been 4 and a half hours and we are at chapter 37 in the book of Genesis. What do I have to say about all these? Hmmmm...

As it is going on it is amazing to note a presence of tranquility has descended in the sanctuary. Outside it is softly drizzling and the inside is cool and holding a number of 30 something people or so. I expected many more, perhaps it is still to early to tell. But so far it is quite enjoyable. Particularly I am enjoying the presence of Elohim, the presence of peace here in the sanctuary.

The time of my timekeeping slot: the time where I ring the bell and dictate the length of each persons' reading, is at 2am - 4am. For this particular Bible reading I plan to take the nocturnal watch. Awake in the night watches and asleep during the day. It is possible since I have applied leave I have no field work to do to speak off besides the usual disposal of rubbish on Thursday. But it is a simple matter so it's fine. I am looking forward to the night more so because the day officially begins according to the Word of Elohim in the evening, so while men sleep the enemy might come to sow tares amongst the wheats but for these few days there will be watchmen; myself included on the walls, never holding their peace to Yahweh.

It also says in the Scriptures: "Mine eyes prevent the night watches, that I might meditate in thy word." (Psalms 119:148) And in this season I am glad I can see the Scriptures being fulfilled little by little everyday. On with the reading. Praise Yahweh!

-Monday, 28th December 2015, 3 months 21 days, 1543

Catch-Up #2

2) Continuing where I left off, a lot has happened in the days to follow post Young People's Camp. I for one though having experienced the anointing for worship ironically was relieved of my duty to worship lead every Tuesday night due to my lack of judgement in certain matters. Well, I have my objections; such as why did Pastor Jean not take notice of others who played the same way I do and correct them as well? Is there a necessity of sorts to strictly follow the tempo and rhythm of the song even though it is incredulously fast for its own good? The anointing was there by the mercy of Yahweh and yet was there a need to do all these? Well, these are but trivial matters in the end. I am not a seer nor have I already attained to the full dispensation of my gifts. I choose to submit and listen because truthfully how many years have I been here on this earth? Have I seen as much as what Pastor Jean has seen or known? Certainly not, therefore she is in the right; somehow. Well, praise Elohim for this because it worked out well in two ways: i) Through my slip up the Holy Spirit was able to move mightily and bring us into the anointing for joy and laughter. ii) I am free now. Now I can receive much more since I am now on the receiving end of things from the Holy Spirit.

Well, praise Yeshua that all things has its due seasons. And the season for my term as worship leader has but momentarily been halted. No matter, it has only been 3 months since I decided to serve full-time, there are many, many more opportunities ahead of me; much greater than what I have just gone through. All in all, I thought I would be sour in this and yet, it is sweet to know the providence of Yahweh in that He provided me the grace to humble myself and submit. All glory goes to Him. Thank you Yahweh!

That pretty much sums up the previous 12 days, its major events to be precise. In the end, it is wonderful to see the hand if Yahweh upon me not because I am great or anything, but because of His great love towards someone like me. Hallelujah. May the year ahead be that much more sweeter than it is now. How wonderful it is to dwell in the house of Yahweh, His praises ever in my mouth. Just like the psalmist says: " My heart is inditing a good matter; I speak of the things which I have made touching the king; my tongue is the pen of a ready writer." (Psalms 45:1)

-Saturday, 26th December 2015, 3 months 19 days, 0512

Catch-Up #1

It feels like a long while since I had last blogged about something. Where to begin?

1) The Young People's Camp which took place last week was phenomenal. Breakthroughs upon breakthroughs and revelations upon revelations were heaped up at us during that camp. Many nations for the first time gathered together for this camp unlike previous ones. Thailand, India, Laos, Cambodia, Philippines, Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Holland, Singapore, Brunei, Vietnam, and of course Malaysia. North, south, east and west we have gathered together by Divine appointment and have had the privilege of soaking ourselves in the awesome presence of Yahweh. Many testimonies have been testified; among them, the most common was the testimony of prophecy. I am beginning to understand what the Scriptures say when: "Worship Yahweh: for the testimony of Yeshua is the spirit of prophecy." (Revelation 19:10b) All the young people's, both staff, helpers, and otherwise were endowed in the gift of prophecy whether we realised it or not and were prophesying over many matters and the majority of it was confirmed either by someone or by circumstances of the moment. For example, the group devotional leaders would speak on a particular matter and later Pastor Jean would repeat the same matter at hand, not being aware of what was shared during the devotions. In my case, the gift of prophesy is so vivid and real to me. One Christian brother from India who was staying in my room told me and my roommates that the blanket was too short for him as he was immensely gifted with height. The next day we had a guest speaker who has never met us before; who began prophesying over each of the nations represented. And for India he mentioned about a blanket that would cover the whole nation, a quilt made of different tribes and tongues coming under the covering of Yahweh. Amazing, praise Yahweh! Another time, Josiah from Nigeria was prophesying about reconciliation and true enough that night we had a time of reconciliation and repentance. How marvellous the Holy Spirit moves among us. Even now, I can see prophecies being fulfilled everywhere I turn. Everything is becoming so prophetic to me now. Truly the Young People's Camp this year was so wondrous for me. Yeshua has blessed me greatly through it. I am refreshed and brimming with joy and gladness. Hallelujah!

The schedule for the camp is as follows:

Sunday - Saturday:
7.00am - Morning Devotion
8.00am - Breakfast
9.00am - Group Devotion
12.00pm - Session with Pastor Jean
5.00pm - Dinner
6.00pm - Free
8.00pm - Session with Pastor Jean
12.00am - Supper (Friday: Overnight Prayer until 3.00am)
1.00am - Lights out

No lunch, no games, spending three quarter of the day soaking and saturating ourselves in the awesome presence of Elohim is simply wonderful. Everyone enjoyed it very much. Through it all, the anointing for worship and for prophecy was the strongest felt throughout the camp by many. Praise Yahweh for blessing us greatly. I pray others may come to know the joy of just sitting at the feet of Yeshua Messiah and to just listen to Him. Amen.

Tired, will do the rest tomorrow.

-Wednesday, 23rd December 2015, 3 months 16 days, 0403

Jeremiah 17:10

Sometimes I wonder if it truly is good if I hear the voice of Yahweh. I mean, when I try to do something, Yahweh will without fail intervene if it is not according to His purpose for me. Yes, I know that whatsoever that Yahweh does and says in my life is for my good; if not now then for the imminent future. But still, Yahweh has impeccable timing when it comes down to the wire.

I had decided to take 2 days leave to go home and see my family. Of course that is just on paper, in reality food was calling me. I just so happened to forget conveniently that the enemies of Elohim and Messiah are the apostles of the god of the belly. Really convenient if you asked me. Of course, a man can plan whatsoever he wants but in the end Yahweh directs his paths.

So during the 3 days of absolute fasting of no food and water, Yahweh spoke to me. Psalms 78:18: "And they tempted El in their heart by asking meat for their lust." Once again, He who sits in the heavens laughs at my predicament. It just had to come didn't it? I feigned ignorance and just continued on. The next retort from Him wasn't at all as lenient. So my family found out about my real purpose of taking the leave and rebuked me sharply. Well, when Yahweh speaks once we should listen. When He speaks twice then we will be asking for it if we don't take heed of Him. Thus, I asked for forgiveness, repented, and cancelled my leave. Surprisingly, I felt much lighter afterwards and I had a stellar day of eating out. In the end, our hearts; particularly mine is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it? But Yahweh searches the innermost chambers of the heart. Praise Him for that.

-Sunday, 13th December 2015, 3 months 6 days, 0308

Romans 8:28

Three months. Time moves like the water, fast and smooth. It is amazing looking back at my first three months here serving Yahweh. Truly, I am the most blessed man right now. I have no want or need, I don't have to worry about anything, the work given to me though sometimes strenuous but always a pleasure to walk in the works Elohim prepared for me, all those late night prayer slots, friends and family here. Everything is hunky dory. Praise Yeshua for that. As it is said: All things work together for good to them that love Elohim, to them who are the called according to His purpose and I am most grateful for being one of the called.

What have I to say against my situation? Life is good and wonderful because Elohim is my everything now. Healer, Deliverer, Protector, Teacher, Father, Guide, Helper, Fortress, Advocate, etc. Everything around me though it may seem lacking in the natural is reaching its fullness for someone like me. The previous worries and cares that I had I have given to Yeshua and He in turn has given me a much more lighter and easier yoke to shoulder. Who said serving Yahweh is difficult most certainly has not known that Yeshua's burden is light and His yoke easy. Who can come against me? If Elohim is for me who can stand against me?

Ah, truly blessed are You oh Yahweh for calling me out of the world's system, from the bondage of Pharaoh and from the yoke of Egypt. To bring me into His kingdom, to walk in His marvellous light for now I am the son of the King, a king and a priest myself through Yeshua who loves me and cleansed me from my sins in His own blood. Gracious and merciful is He to bring my old friend Ben Teng Jun Minn into the kingdom of the Son of His love. Now he is my brother and we are a family of whom heaven and earth is named in the Messiah. He is beginning his walk with the Lord, surely I pray he shall see to its end.

How marvellous and wonderful these past three months have been. I can't even recall any sour notes during these three months. I am not saying there wasn't any but the blessings I partake  overshadow, overtake, and blot them out before they fester. Praise Yeshua!

-Tuesday, 8th December 2015, 3 months 1 day, 0316

Walk the Talk

And so December rolls in together with its humid and moist weather. The monsoon season is here again and what a time it is to stay near the forest. Hallelujah! It's so cool in the evening that I tend to doze off more than I should nowadays. At night the glass on the windowpane actually fogs up, showing just how cold the Hiding Place really is. How wonderful for Yahweh to bless me with such rich habitations.

I look at those beside me and I think to myself: "We can be really hypocritical sometimes." Serving Yahweh here in His house has given me the privilege to truly experience what it means to be built up as living stones into the household of Elohim and I ponder this but we; myself more so happen to be quite the hypocrites and the judgemental people. We tend to look at others' faults rather than look at our own because we find it easier to push the blame and the critics onto others instead of ourselves. We say we serve Elohim, but that is just saying; words through which I have found to be quite unreliable unless evidenced by accompanying actions and reactions. Do our lives reflect Messiah? How can we say we are on Yahweh's side when our lives become a standing witness against us?

Looking at it now what the Word of Elohim speaks is true in the sense: that it is most certainly better to give than to receive. The interpretation of this differs from person to person but in the end, unity and order prevails in the things of Elohim. I find it is easier to give striking remarks than to receive the strikes themselves. Oftentimes as Christians we can serve Elohim all we want but it will profit us nothing in the end if we do not allow Elohim to deal with what is inside of us. After all Yahweh chastises those whom He calls His sons and if we do not receive His chastisement for our own good, we are illegitimate children and have no partaking in the inheritance for the sons of legitimacy. In the end it's a very fine line to walk. The road to eternal life through Yeshua is very, very narrow and very few make it. The fine line between pulling a man out of the fires of hell and igniting him with hellfire of our own tongue's. In other words, the fine line we walk is to discern between what to say when it is right and what not to say when the time has changed. How do I make it clearer? The line of judging someone based upon the Word of Elohim and judging another based on personal feelings or personal vendettas. This is something only Elohim and Elohim alone can resolve. The answer is to be found in Yeshua Messiah; the Word of Elohim. He is living and powerful, sharper than any two edged sword; piercing even to the division of the soul and the Spirit. The things of carnal flesh and the things of the Spirit.

In the end, the Christian walk is just that: a walk. We are not called to work or to do ministry for Him, we are called to run this race He set before us with endurance and to walk in His works which He prepared for us beforehand. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness made flesh; Yeshua Messiah and everything else shall be taken care of in due time and season. It's a promise so we can claim it.

-Wednesday. 2nd December 2015, 2 months 25 days, 0314

November and more

With this November is coming to a close. My oh my how Yahweh is looking at me. It feels like now every opportunity given is a time of testing for me to see whether the heart is aligned to Elohim or not. Whether by circumstances or people the Holy Spirit is most certainly at work to cleanse me from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of Elohim. This month was a trying month. Trying won't even begin to cover what has happened to me. In the natural it all looks fine and dandy but inside, storms were beating down my house. The waves came up and the rain came down, trying to beat me into submission but thanks be to Yeshua Messiah, the Rock on which the house is built. He preserves me until the end of it.

Truly Yahweh is sitting in the heavens and laughing. Laughing at what I am going through. What seems so significant to me is so insignificant in His grand design for me. All this trials, temptations of mine is for my benefit and not to my destruction for tribulations produces perseverance. And perseverance character, and character hope. To rejoice even in the midst of the storm, to even be at rest in the Messiah betwixt a rock and a hard place. This month I feel that Yahweh is drilling that into me that in all things I have been made more than a conqueror. Everything is subject to me and there is nothing that is not under my feet. And yet sometimes when the reality of warfare comes to me, I find the application of said promise is harder than first thought.

The main bringer of my troubles was whether or not she herself knew was my sister. Oh, how wonderful Elohim has been moving in her life so much so that she has overtaken me. And yet sometimes her words, they sting. They cut harder than a knife. Mixing the Word of Elohim with a prejudiced outlook on things especially when she keeps butting in to people's personal matters is like a high strung guitar string. If it don't cut you first it will break. My family more so. A rag tag bunch of people each with different personalities and what not. A negative sense of impulsiveness, a tendency to soften blows and the need to have the last word makes life together like dangling on a tightrope. And yet, Elohim have mercy; they are my family, my beloved family. I could ask for none worse and yet none better than them.

Perhaps I am being judgemental, prejudiced in my thinking, the fault in the end of the day lies with me. Who am I? I am nothing more than dust and ashes and the people around me. Do I have any rights to demand from my Maker anything at all? What do I see in others that I do not see in myself? In the end, it begins with me but it will also end with that. And I thank Elohim for releasing me from all my complaints, my frustration towards myself and others. Of course, the fullness of the closure of the matter is still in question. The Christian walk is not a sprint, it's an endurance run. The road long, harsh and yet our Keeper refreshes, guides us in the way everlasting. Casting all cares upon Him, He will surely care for us. Ah, to dwell in complaints for others is unprofitable to me. Let's just forgive, forget and continue the road given me to walk. Praise You Yeshua for November. A trying time but a time well learned in the end.

-Saturday, 28th November 2015, 2 months 21 days, 1912

Mighty to Save, Mighty to Work

Well now, this is quite the fanciful and rather fruitful fellowship. The Lagenda fellowship; a fellowship with a group of Africans from different regions such as Nigeria and Zimbabwe gathering together every Monday for prayer, worship, and the sharing of the Word. Emeka; Josiah's elder brother who received the miraculous healing touch of Yeshua in the complete removal of his severe dizziness, houses the fellowship in his apartment. Swinfield, Julius and "God is good"; yes, there is a Nigerian brother by the name of "God is good"! The fellowship began at 8pm and the time it ends varies from time to time. One can easily go from one end of the extreme to the other: from 11pm until 1am the next day even. Today has been rather refreshing to say the least. The Word of Elohim was greatly distributed for the edification of the body of Messiah and the presence of Elohim, the Spirit of revelation was most certainly present.

One such topic that was greatly debated amongst one another: the importance; but not presiding over the faith in Yeshua Messiah, of works in the Christian walk. Now naturally all of us agreed that the overemphasis of works with the negligence of actually knowing Yeshua Messiah will lead to the casting away of the lawless ones in the last days. What can be said of works however is this: that faith in the Son of Elohim is the guarantor of entryway into the kingdom of Elohim but not the treasures awaiting inside it, whereas works build up the invisible treasures in the kingdom of heaven but we won't gain access into said kingdom. In my personal opinion, the works are not meant to stand on equal terms with the saving faith which we have in Yeshua rather faith precedes works. Faith is truly activated by works and how that happens is actually quite simple so long as the Spirit reveals the deep things.

From the inside out. As we believe in Yeshua Messiah He has promised that rivers of living waters will flow out of our hearts. To where? To the outside and the word that came to me that changed my perception: natural. The waters that flow out of the belly is all natural, in fact supernatural! Wherever the water flows it brings life and who can control water? It flows naturally out so long as the Fount remains unblocked and connected to the Source from above. Such is the doing of works, it will come to us naturally like breathing is to a man to those who continue in this race towards Yeshua. We tend to walk the deceptively fine line between Elohim doing His will and His works in and through us and we asserting ourselves to know the will of Elohim and striving to do His works our way. If Yeshua was incapable without the Father, how much more we who if we are apart can do absolutely nothing? It is after all Elohim who works in us both to will and to do according to His good pleasure. He will do it because He knows we can't. We just have to surrender and cease willing, exerting ourselves to strain for what is always right. Like Paul in Romans 7, everyone has the desire to do good because of the good Spirit of life given to us; only the performance of said will is not present within this fallen body. Whatsoever Paul willed himself to do, it backfired on him. Only when he saw Yeshua as the Way out then was the Christian walk suddenly not so burdensome anymore. For the Spirit of life in Messiah Yeshua made him and we as well free from the condemnation of sin and death. As we continue walking with the Lord He will do the work. As for me, one work has been given by the Messiah and that I should accomplish. In order to work the works Elohim has prepared beforehand, we should believe in Him (Yeshua) whom He (Yahweh) has sent. Amen.

-Tuesday, 24th November 2015, 2 months 17 days, 0245

Closure, and closure to the Finish

With this, the closing down, the shifting to and the finalising of Glory Place Petaling Jaya is all but settled. Matthew Han has informed us that tomorrow we who will be helping with the moving of furniture and the entourage from Glory Place Mantin, without excluding the lorry drivers will be the last group of people to lay our eyes on this former prayer house. To be honest, I don't feel an inkling of anything for this place. It has served Yahweh's purpose in His due time and season and now Yahweh is showing us the next step to take.

As for me, Matthew Han asked me something on which I am pondering on can seem profound in its own sense: where do you see yourself in 5, 10 years time? I am not a seer, Yahweh has seen my beginning to my end already. Yeshua has proclaimed Himself to be the Beginning and the End so why should I worry about something so trivial like where I see myself in 5 or 10 years time? Oftentimes we stress too much on ministry rather than ministering to Yahweh. When we minister to Yahweh first, when we seek His kingdom and Yeshua Messiah; the Righteousness of Elohim made flesh then everything else shall take care of itself. As priests we are called first to minister to our Elohim and then only unto men because how can we give something to others if we ourselves haven't got it? How can we bring people to the Messiah? By our faith? By our works? No for without a confirming action faith is likened as being dead; like unto mental agreement and not by works because works alone directs the glory given not to Yahweh but unto ourselves. Our lives lived by faith is also confirmed by the works we do testify whether we truly are dead in sins and trespasses or alive to Elohim through Messiah.

What I am beginning to wrap my head around is that Yeshua is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, the Author and Finisher of our faith. Surely He that begun a good work in us shall not cease until He sees the full dispensation of it manifest itself in our lives, becoming a testament to His glory. Yeshua has proclaimed to be both the starting line and finish line of our race so what is there to worry, what is there to turn back for? I am beginning to understand how Paul can say the sufferings of present times are not worthy to be compared with the glory soon to be revealed in us. It does not matter in the end what we face, who we face, whether we slip and tumble or fall and hurt ourselves. What matters is that every time there is a hurdle on our racetrack, we overcome it; jump over it and continue to the next one until we reach the end. Even if we fail to do so, who cries in the middle of a race? Get up, dust yourself off and jump, jump again until you overcome. All this for something so perishable like a trophy or a medal.

We strive for something imperishable, treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. Praise Yeshua for the full counsel of His Word that through it we receive the fullness of Elohim through Messiah. The End is in sight, and that Finish line is drawing nearer to us more so than we are sometimes to Him. Yeshua is coming quickly, and He said this 2000 years ago. How much more now? Let's run then.

-Monday, 23rd November 2015, 2 months 16 days, 0015

Memoirs and Healing

Ugh, just recently I caught quite the infectious cold on Tuesday. Sneezing non stop, nose mucous hardening like a desert or alternatively melting like the ice caps without end, coughing and a dry throat, and most of all my strength and energy for the day sapped because of this. All because I decided to work slightly overtime in the rain. But praise be to Yahweh because of His loving kindness which are from of old, and to the Lord Yeshua Messiah for by His stripes, I was healed and made well. During the Wednesday Corporate Prayer Meeting's Holy Communion, I partook of the bread and the cup the same way I always do; in remembrance of what Yeshua did for me on the cross. How he bore all my sins and iniquities, sicknesses and diseases and how through that I received His righteousness and His wholeness, the perfection of the Son of Elohim. As I partook as usual, I was healed.

My strength returned! I was made new! Though the runny nose and the cough is still here by the time of this blog post it has already rapidly diminished from hours before. Before I could not even have reprieve before I would sneeze or cough again and again but now, I can breathe through my nose. Praise Yahweh that those who truly wait upon Him shall renew their strength given the take that I was trying to sleep during the prayer meeting. Truly His merciful kindness is great towards us and His truth endures forever.

To look at the seen only discourages me. In the natural, I have not been healed I still have the cough and runny nose but now as sons of Elohim we live in the unseen. In the supernatural I am made whole from the top of my head down to the tip of my toes. Now, all these 'symptoms' are nothing but like a picture to me. The devil's holding up a picture in front of me to remind me that I am still under him but the thing is: pictures can't hurt me! Though they may bring unpleasant memories, a picture is a thing of the past and soon enough, even pictures will rot away with time. It has no authority in the present neither the future, only the past. If we continue to live in the past we will always be confronted with very real pictures from satan. But we are not supposed to, we look at Yeshua, the Author and Finisher of our faith Who is also the Hope of glory. Hope does not disappoint but brings expectation of things to come and most certainly in the Lord are pleasures forevermore.

On another note, my worship is gradually gaining ground. May Yahweh continue to guide me so through His Holy Spirit. Of course there are times when I can't connect but then again; "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."

The night is far spent, soon the Sun if righteousness shall dawn upon me with healing in His wings. When that day fully comes, what a blessing it is to serve the true, living Elohim.

-Thursday, 19th November 2015, 2 months 12 days, 0032

Rocky Road

Recently I am constantly being reminded that this road that I chose to walk is a difficult one and the gate which passes into eternal life is a narrow one. I find few like minded company on this road and I see that though there are remnants of people also walking the same said road, not all have truly counted the costs fully. Then again I think it is for the best that according to the mercy of Yahweh I did not meet anyone like minded with myself. I once had this picture painted for me: the road humanity walks is a large, broad stretch of asphalt; a highway if you will. Multitudes upon multitudes walk said highway but I have seen the end of the road. A sheer cliff which drops down into the Pit: Hell and many do not realise where they are headed until it is too late. Yet I see a narrow, slit of a way leading out of the highway. The narrow road is rocky, enough for one person to walk at a time, and lonely. Very, very few of the multitudes actually see that road and even fewer choose to walk such a difficult road such as this.

The narrow road ascends upwards, getting all the more narrower and steeper with every passing step. The road spirals around a massive Rock which becomes a Mountain which in turn leads to the heavens; the Heaven of heavens. As the road continues in order to remain on it and not fall off into the Abyss, one must cling to the Rock with all their might lest they slip and fall to their demise. On this road, it is much easier to slip and fall than it is to continue on your journey to the top. And if we do fall, the trek to return where you once faltered becomes a challenge in itself. Very few meet the King of the Mountain and even fewer enter His Kingdom. Only those who have left all, forsaken all even their lives in order to obtain that better country.

Sometimes I see myself on that sheer cliff, looking down at all the people on the highway; laughing and having a jolly good time. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to return, but I know that I can't return. Not ever again, given the choice I would flatly refuse for what awaits me down there is my demise. Yet as I look upwards I see this mighty Rock, and the glory of the Kingdom; its light for all men shining brightly. Beckoning the pilgrims to climb yet further, higher so that they may enter into the joy of their Master at the very end. Sometimes I look at people and their own personal trek upwards, some further ahead than me though younger than me. Some further behind than me though much older than me. Some even have only just begun. Where I stand I do not know but one thing I am grateful to Yeshua Messiah for is that in Him I am progressing, albeit step by step. The pace has been set for me and the Lord has called me to walk this path. How can I return when what awaits me at the top will overshadow all the trials, the afflictions I have endured, am enduring and will go through? Oh, Holy Spirit this is something no mere mortal man like me can do. Guide me for surely I know nothing, have nothing and am nothing without the Messiah. The journey before me looks daunting and yet, all I must do is to look at Yeshua. The mind seeks to wrap itself around what cannot be fathomed with human understanding and yet, I am beginning to be mindful of things unseen. Progression is key and is taking place. All glory to Yahweh Elohim my Heavenly Father!

-Saturday, 14th November 2015, 2 months 7 days, 2303

Art of Worship, Spirit of Prayer

Well, the fast is nearly over and done with. Praise Yahweh for strengthening me because otherwise I would have easily given myself over to all the food around me. One more hour to go and then we can break the fast with dinner. Hallelujah! In this fast I myself have experienced a breakthrough in the Spirit: to pray and to worship in Spirit and in truth.

Worship wise I have come to realise my inconsistency with my form of worship in CRC and in GP. The contrast is quite stark now that I look back and observe carefully. On the one hand, the worship was taken over by the Spirit. Times of refreshing and strengthening came and time just flew overhead while on the other side if the coin, worship was dry. Song after song even though it is the Word of Elohim we are singing, without the Spirit the fullness just isn't there. No time to minister in the Spirit equals an unbalanced worship making one feel like a pivotal Someone just wasn't there to wrap it up nicely. Now I can see and now by the grace of Elohim I am realigning myself to it and I must say it is a new change in perspective. Although sometimes when I worship in GP in the Spirit I find that the move of the Holy Spirit is hindered by the silence of the people. True, there are times when we must keep silent but there are also times when we must worship in Spirit and not just zip our lips. It creates an uncomfortable if not soul sucking vacuum which just blocks out the Spirit. But when we do worship in the Spirit, we ascend higher than ever before. After all, Yeshua said that the Father is seeking those who will worship Him in Sprit and in truth, not just truth alone.

Prayer wise it seems that the Spirit adds diversity to our monotonous prayers. Instead of going through the motions of lip service, I find that when the Spirit prays, He indeed prays. Diversity is added and the prayer needed at that time just finds its way out of me. Of course, one thing I have come to realise; by whom I cannot remember but Yahweh doesn't want us to pray our own prayers, He wants us to pray His prayers. We are exhorted by Paul to be praying always with all prayer and supplication made in the Spirit. When prayers are made it is collected as incense before Yahweh in golden bowls. However one must take heed to not offer profane fire just like Nadab and Abihu did. Meaning that when we pray, we must be mindful of the Spirit so that instead of offending and grieving Him through our prayers for meagre and temporal things, we glorify both the Spirit, the Son, and the Father through our prayers. For Who knows how to pray without ceasing save He that lives in us who ever lives to make intercession for all the saints according to the will of Elohim?

-Friday, 13th November 2015, 2 months 6 days, 1653

Romans 5:3

What a day so far, huh. It began with me being charged with backup for Ryan for worship during the monthly 3 days Esther fast. To be clear, an Esther fast is a fast which completely abstains from food and water for three full days of 72 hours to be more technical. When Esther, her maids, Mordecai and the children of Israel fasted for three full days without food or water, great change took place not only in their lives and circumstances; that fast changed the history and fate of Israel itself. The enemies that sought to destroy them were destroyed themselves and the instigator Haman was hanged in the same gallows he made for the Jews. So an Esther fast is a nation changer, which is why the people of Semarak Revival Centre and Glory Place, Mantin fast together.

Back to the point, it began with worship. Aunty Philo asked me to play my guitar which to be frank is a feat in itself. The strings are taut to the extreme, it takes huge intakes of finger power to press down even one of the 6 strings to get a clear tune much less a chord or a barre. Thanks to that I could not exactly flow in the Spirit in the beginning. But thanks to Yahweh for sending Pastor Bernard to mop things up. On the keyboard he led us into the Spirit and time just seemed to pass so quickly. You know, when comparing my guitar to others, it feels like pressing butter. That's just how easy it is to play on other people's guitars. Praise Yahweh because he literally trained my fingers for war.

In this first day I have received a word from Yahweh. Romans 5:1-5 which is timely to say. I have been undergoing many trials and tribulations in my personal life and was wavering a bit even dreading the next day's order of difficulties. But truly Yahweh is timely, He shall help His people just at the break of dawn. With this I am sure and prepared now for what is to come be it high water or dry valleys it matters no longer. Tribulations builds perseverance, and perseverance character and character hope. So in all the things I am facing even though I might not see it now, my walk with Elohim through Yeshua is being built up slowly, day by day. Through all trials and tribulations, my perseverance is being built up. The persistence to go through no matter what, to weather the storm rather than the storm withers me. Through perseverance character is built. And as my inner character grows, hope is built. Hope upon the unseen so that what is not seen may become seen and the seen unseen. Hope upon the promise of eternal glory through Messiah Yeshua. Now, I am beginning to understand why Paul says to glory in tribulations. Though weeping may endure for a night, joy cones in the morning. What I have faced will not carry further through the day but only for that particular time. But what I have learnt from that particular time will carry until kingdom come. Praise you Yeshua!

-Wednesday, 11th November 2015, 2 months 4 days, 1724

Romans 8:37

Weak. I am weak but that is precisely why I am glad. It is in my weakness that I come to the realisation of my necessity for the Saviour, Yeshua. It does not become an obligation but rather a constant dependence upon Him for anything and everything. Earlier today I had trouble once again with the carnal flesh and its ways. Needless to say, one thing led to another and I had succumbed rather than overcame. That predicament practically messed up the flow of the remainder of the day for me. But praise Yeshua because he whom the Son sets free is free indeed! During the weekly Wednesday Prayer Meeting I had trouble flowing in the Spirit for the first few songs. Yet what my father said came to mind. Sometimes, if Yahweh is not in the music, He will be found in the silence. Thus, I quieted myself in the midst of worship and found Yahweh, to the praise of the glory of His grace.

In that precise moment, my prayers though they once felt like they were bouncing off the walls finally made a connection to Elohim. I confessed my sin and inability to overcome the enemy for that season and repented. Praise Yahweh, He heard my voice and forgave me. I felt a great burden left me and I was able to flow once again. Now looking back I can plainly see that all this only proves that my strength, my hope, my everyday living, even my very life is in the hands of the Almighty. It is not what I can do for what I am able to do is but filthy rags, not how I behave because there is no one good save Elohim, not who I am because I am just dust and ashes. It is all to You, oh Yeshua my Deliverer.

To me, I feel that the expectation of others are starting to slowly overwhelm me. But now I thank Yahweh for this season because though this might just be premonition based on thin air, times are soon changing. The winds of change are blowing and a gale force of transformation both in the Spirit and in the natural is about to take place. Whether weeks, months or years; I just have this sensation about me. During this time surely Yeshua is dealing with me. To no longer leave the door ajar for the enemy to creep in, to ensure that the expectation of what people want of me does not influence who Yahweh calls me to be in His Son, to discern between what is holy and what is seemingly holy etc. So many things to learn, so many things to know, so many things to be done but surely if Elohim is for me, who can be against me? If all this is from Him then He will surely bring them in their due times. Let others take the glory onstage, I am content to work behind curtains. I waited patiently for Yahweh and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.

-Thursday, 5th November 2015, 1 month 28/29 days, 0033

October and more

Once again we have arrived to the end of the month, October to be exact. This is the beginning of many more months to come for me in GP Mantin I figure. Since the beginning of this month I have begun to contribute to my stay at GP by enlisting as a helper in the house of Elohim; helping in the farm work and whatnot. But truly this month has been quite the interesting time. So many things learnt, revelations received, lines blurred; where to begin?

We start with the farm work. Thus far I am placed in the division of managing the fence repairs. Putting up fences, cementing poles, lifting loads have taken their toll on my body but in the end it is Yeshua's strength that I am using so everyday becomes satisfying both to the Spirit and to the body. Though there are days when I look at my roommate Josiah during his day off, I wish that I too can sometimes sleep in. To sleep in GP Mantin is a guarantee of good sleep no matter how brief it is. Cool, crisp air combined with the chill of the air conditioner results in me looking forward if not to the food, the time of worship, then to the resting. Mmmm. But besides that, the work though intensive and intensifying everyday, is a pleasure. I become witness to the grace of Elohim in Messiah Yeshua because His perfect strength is made manifest in my weaknesses.

Next, Deon; 9 and Philo; 8, Ethan; 7 and Hannah; 5. Sigh. Many times I often reminisce of the silence and the stillness of GP before this rowdy bunch of kids arrived. Then again this must surely be a lesson of some sort from Yahweh to me. His 'humorous' gift to me. He must surely be sitting in the heavens and having a good laugh now. Praise Yahweh for that. What my father has mentioned and reprimanded me for truly struck a chord. Until now, I had not viewed it that way before. Although I somewhat knew that when one takes his prayer slot, it becomes a time of reverence to Yahweh and must be honoured, I had not known exactly to what extent until now. Deon, Philo, Ethan, Hannah, you lot. Looks like it's time to get my act together and ensure that this prayer slot becomes a holy habitation for Yahweh rather than a funfair for the children. Praise be to Yeshua that in His mercy and grace He; through my father has opened my eyes to the truth that a prayer slot is to be taken seriously and not a time for the children to run amok; to pander to the likes of them. I repent for not seeing sooner. Let's make it right now.

Once again, I am reminded that though we all who have begun to serve or have been serving faithfully, that does not mean we are safe from the grasp of the enemy. Even though we are in this ministry, not everyone who abides in the church means that they are automatically saved. I still see traces of tares every now and then during my two months here among the wheats. Oh Elohim, may You grant me in the name of Yeshua the Spirit of discernment so that I may see and perceive, to hear and understand the deep things of Elohim and to differentiate who is of You and who is but the leaven of the Pharisees. In this last days, I am beginning to see the magnitude of the necessity of a discerning Spirit abiding in the people of Elohim. Even if I am serving in GP Mantin now, I am still quite susceptible to the winds of doctrine blowing about and the gossips of men. May Elohim have mercy on me and guide me for I know for certain that unless He do, I will perish.

November has come, October has past. The third month is here and truly I have faith that every month shall be greater than the former. Isn't that the life of a son of Elohim, that every new day brings greater revealing of the life of Yeshua in us and the greater mortification of the flesh in our lives?

-Saturday, 31st October 2015, 1 month 24 days, 0507

Subtle Deceptions

I think I am beginning to understand what it truly means to war against satan. This is a war which one do not have the privilege of letting one's guard down even for a moment, for subtlety is one of the devil's most ancient of devices to use. Sometimes I am even subject to this even when I myself am not aware of it.

It began on Monday, the subtle change took place, one I was not aware of until today. A drowsiness that was quite unnatural but completely founded on logical reasoning  attacked me. It was my off day, I had every desire to rest and rest I did. Although looking back that was my rest and not Yahweh's. Perhaps that was when it discreetly began. In my rest I had plenty of sleep, it was good sleep that I enjoyed. However that sleep carried over unto the night. I was suddenly charged to lead worship that day and needless to say, the drowsiness took hold of me during worship. It was quite a struggle for me to keep my eyes open and lead worship. The rest had a good laugh at my predicament, imagine a worship leader on the verge of falling backwards out of sleepiness. But that wasn't sleepiness, it was warfare.

Praise Yahweh that halfway through aunty Philo saw through and helped me out. In that short respite Yahweh by His mercy refreshed me and led the worship. All glory to Him! However the drowsy effect took its toll the next day during work. Though I had plenty rest I still had to put up quite the fight against this encroaching sleepiness during the farm work. Once again, Yahweh refreshed me halfway through and the work went on smoothly.

The subtlety of living up to everyone's expectation is another fight that I personally had to go through. During the worship on Tuesday where I was once again bestowed the privilege to worship again, I felt the intensity of the struggle within me. Subtle but effective, I must say. But praise Yahweh that whatever is born of Elohim had overcome the world. Now, this deception looking back was quite the monstrosity despite its meek looks. One could easily fall into it just like any other thing. The fine line between the joy of serving Yahweh and the obligation to serve Yahweh is so thin like a tightrope that with one slip, one might fall into the latter category. Though we truly are obliged to serve Yahweh, because He has redeemed us from the world and its prince, it must not become a 'have to' rather than a 'want to'. I am not entirely sure how to describe it. To go through the motions day in day out sometimes takes its toll but the thing is with the Lord, every day is different. So much so that even if the same thing is repeated every day it will still be different. After all, the mercies of Yahweh are new every morning. It's best if we don't fall to the same sin of monotony like the children of Israel in the wilderness. Although they had the privilege of tasting the manna from heaven and to see miracles daily, they fell into monotony and desired something more.

-Wednesday, 29th October 2015, 1 month 21 days, 1012

Rest

I am already having slight difficulty in remembering exactly how long I have been here at Glory Place, Mantin. Yes, it's been a month and a half now but the days are just accumulating like nobody's business. Time seem to fly by faster as each day passes. Truly, praise Yahweh.

I am still adapting to the times and the seasons in this place. Though I have yet to find suitable alone time together with Yeshua, I thank Him for His abundant grace and mercy that I am able to redeem the moments together with Him during my farm duties early in the morning even unto the closing of the day with my prayer slot of 1am - 3am. Truly it is the practice on the field which tests one's closeness together with Yahweh. More so when every work I do, every conversation holds remembrance of Yeshua in it, it becomes hard to not be connected with our living Elohim.

Thank Elohim for my father who has given me insight to this ministry. It is not how much we can do; because no flesh should glory before Yahweh and our works sometimes tend to carry over to the self more than we think. It is not how good we do it; because no one is good except Yahweh. It is about rest. Resting means to enjoy the good labour which the hands brought forth. To rest is to stop and relax, go receive, enjoy. And we can, in Yeshua! When He died for us on the cross, all the works that had to be done, all the promises that have yet to be fulfilled, were all brought to completion through Yeshua Messiah. In Him dwells the fullness of the Godhead bodily and that same fullness is in us this day. What joy that now it is all of Elohim through His Spirit and no longer anything of us. We have been saved to enter into that rest, to receive what was once afar off but now has been brought near through Messiah.

The topic of rest' in itself is manifold and will take up plenty of time to expound on. Needless to say, we are not called to do Elohim's work for Him for who is able to make the heavens and the earth, to give and take away life like Him? It is Elohim who works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure. So if it is Elohim who works, we then must rest and give leeway for the Holy Spirit to work in and through us. For the very weakness of Elohim is stronger than the strongest man, and the foolishness of Elohim wiser than the wisest of men. Thus it pleased Yahweh to put to shame the haughty in wisdom and strength of men with the simplicity of the gospel which is Yeshua Messiah. Hallelujah!

-Thursday, 22nd October 2015, 1 month 15 days, 1701

1st Service - To Fear

There is a necessity for the fear of Yahweh to be upon us. Not the natural fear which drives the body into an adrenaline rush for the terror which is to befall someone, rather the fear and/ or the respect; the admonition that Elohim is our Father rather than our Judge, Jury, and Executioner. To say that there is no more need to fear is to contradict the Word of Elohim Himself in this. There are two types of fear, one of Elohim and the other contrary; the spirit of fear. 1 John 4:18 talks not about the casting out of the fear of Yahweh but rather the spirit of fear which is an unclean spirit. To begin with, do we 'cast out' the Spirit of Elohim or unclean spirits? To cast out is to forcefully revoke the rights of a spirit to dwell in us and hereby forcing it to leave our bodies. Besides, in the same verse that very fear which is to be cast out involves torment. Surely the fear of Yahweh which is also one of the 7 Spirits of Elohim mentioned in Revelation 5:6 does not involve torment in its administration.

It becomes clearer to me that we need to have not just the Word but the Presence of Elohim as well. Having been gifted this great privilege of not only learning the words of life, but to also experience the reality of the Kingdom of heaven through Yeshua Messiah; we ought to realise that without one or the other the revelation is incomplete. Without the Word, the Presence of Elohim becomes unfiltered and can be easily misinterpreted as a presence of unclean spirits. The Word acts as a filter, a discerner of thoughts and the light of illumination to the deep things and dark sayings of Yahweh; and how are we to discern with Whom we are experiencing unless saturated in His Word?

Likewise the Presence acts as though a battery to charge the torch of the Word of Elohim to give not just partial but a full and fuller still revelation. When Solomon brought the Ark of the Covenant back into the Most Holy Place, all that was left in it was the two tablets of Moses. The Law and the Presence of Yahweh remained where these two act as a balance and counterbalance for one another. Word alone means to experience 'logos' but together with the Presence, it brings about 'rhema'. The Holy Spirit gives light to the mysteries of the Gospel for who can reveal the deep things of Elohim but Elohim Himself?

Praise Yahweh for the revelations through which we gain better understanding of the mysteries of His Word. For it is the glory of Yahweh to conceal a matter, and the glory of kings to seek it out.

-Sunday, 18th October 2015, Month 2 Day 11, 0502

Recalling Past Mementos

It is simple moments like this that make me absolute in my decision to forsake everything and to serve Yahweh all the more truer. Overnight prayer at Semarak hadn't ended yet when we arrive but was still going strong. Because of the newly brought instrument from Vietnam which I reckon we will be see a lot of from henceforth: the Cajun (car-hon). A mini rhythm drum hand made by John from Vietnam, son of Pastor Sara. A new flavour has been added into the art of worship.

Truly, my life right now is in a state of utter joy and bliss. My soul rejoices in Messiah because I am free, and free indeed. There is nothing that holds me back, neither family nor friends. Hallelujah! Early in the morning at the mamak together with my parents, brother Koh, uncle Bak, and Jeremy; we discussed the absolute poverty of the rich. Though they have much, they have nothing. Grasping at straws truly the Word of Elohim reigns in all walks of life and is true and alive this day. But that wasn't what caught me up. Over on the other side there were a group of young adults, working class I reckon; hollering and partying like no other. I look and I beheld myself there with my old friends. Had I remained in the world, I would have been just like that. Reveling in the most simple of things, spewing words out for the sake of showing off, and just become a byword amongst other people.

It truly is the hand of the Messiah Yeshua outstretched towards me that He gave His life for someone of the least of the least like me. Truly, it is His grace and mercy that now I am free from the dictates of my self, the carnal flesh, and the system of this world. Praise you, Yeshua! I will not recall my friends, I will not stoop down to such a degrading level again. I have wasted enough time as it is on them. They walk contrary to the Word of Elohim, then they walk contrary with me. I will not have any part with them whatsoever anymore. Though I have this premonition that still one remains. Through his girlfriend he is beginning to see Yeshua. Perhaps someone like him I can afford to reach out to after all. Time will tell and it's only with the backing of Yahweh will I do thus. If no, then by all means let us continue further on the strait and narrow way. Praise Yahweh!

-Saturday, 17th October 2015, Month 2 Day 10, 0617

Try not

There is still much for me to learn here. It is unbecoming of me to think that I had surmounted to much in my first month. Though, yes there were breakthroughs and revelations given; there is this sense that there is much more to it than just these. Still waters run deep and the deep things of Elohim are very much deeper than what the world can offer. Let us continue.

With this, we conclude the first month of the giving up of my life to serve Yahweh full time in His house. Looking back, there was much learned but still more of the deeper things of Elohim to tap into. Thankfully, with the encouragement by Pastor Jean I now have the resolve to continue further without the worrying that I am not doing anything or otherwise. What I can see is all merely deception at the most and what cannot be seen is my real life, Yeshua Messiah the hope of glory in me. There is nothing I can do for Yahweh in that He has not already accomplished all through His Son on the cross for me. All that is left is to rest and receive, rejoice and enjoy the things which Elohim has prepared for me.

It does not matter if I am unable to meet the expectations or accomplishments of others now. Who am I to compare to or who can be compared to me? My only pattern is Yeshua and assuredly it is in Him alone that everything will work together for good. Though I am not saying that I will not give my best with whatsoever is given unto me to do, I am saying that my best amounts to little in the kingdom of Elohim. To ascend in His kingdom, I must cease and be still and give the Holy Spirit the opportunity to work in and through me. Thus, let's do so for it is not those who works much who are able to carry out great exploits in the name of Yahweh, but only those who know Him and the Son through Whom is our passage into eternal life.

-Wednesday, 14th October 2015, Day 37, 1744

Psalm 16:9

Considering that today's my day off, one thing I have noticed is that idleness begets the lusts of the flesh, the desire of it being fulfilled. Today was practically unfruitful. What I wanted to accomplish today has been utterly set aside for the reveling of the flesh. Sigh, Elohim forgive me and has forgiven me yet again. Though sometimes I wonder whether or rather when will the physical manifestation of the crucifixion, death, and burial of my flesh come to light? In the Spirit the flesh is indeed dead but outwardly it begs to differ.

Honestly, sometimes I am baffled at where I am, what I am doing. But I praise Yahweh that now through all this repetitions I know better. The outward does not influence the inwards. It is vice versa. Once again, the fig tree which Yeshua curses to never bear fruit again. The fig tree withered from the roots up and not the other way and the curse was not immediate but overtime although I have my thoughts that in the Spirit the tree was already dead on the spot. As sons of Elohim all we have to do is confess, proclaim and it will bring about an immediate effect in the Spirit though the physical realm may tarry its effect.

Thus, about my flesh. I won't consider it. For if I do I acknowledge that the enemy is still working in me. Oh, Yeshua have mercy upon me and show me thine wondrous works. It is You Who has done all things. You have sanctified me, cleansed me, crushed satan under my feet and have put all things under me. The flesh, this flesh I commit to You continually for I know that the day draws nearer that soon all things shall come under Your ruling, Your power, Your kingdom. For in You it is finished, so let all of me be finished in You for I can no longer go on without You, oh Yeshua!

-Monday, 12th October 2015, Day 35, 2147

Spiral Theory

It is amazing to note that with just a small tear in the seam of a fabric, the whole cloth can come undone quite easily; just like my sleeping bag's container. To think that such a large sleeping bag could fit into a cloth container as small as mine. A small tear in the cloth and then my sleeping bag comes sprawling out onto the floor. Sigh, praise Yahweh. And from there I am reminded of a revelation that I had for quite some time but never got to putting it down in pen. One that I am; unfortunately all too familiar with.

It is distasteful to put one step in the mud in one moment and finding yourself completely sinking in neck deep the next. The same applies with sin and the fleshy nature of us. So long as we give in and fulfil even one single desire of the carnal flesh; feed it even once and it spirals out of control the next. Give the devil and inch and we'll find ourselves overrun the next. Like a spiral which tip is so miniscule in comparison to its body, our sins will always spiral downwards and downwards; creating larger helixes, the gap of morality and spirituality slipping and soon you find ourselves at the basest of our carnal desires once again. I am all too familiar with this as this has been my remembrance every time I desire to do what the self wants rather than what the Spirit wants. I tend to lose control of the steering wheel halfway through, unable to stop unless I crash into the person next to me. Elohim forgives me every time I repent, but even with such mercy I am still abundantly glorying the flesh and its desires.

However, I am given the blessed hope of that glorious day when I will encounter Yeshua and He will take this yoke off me. I am not without hope, though I used to be; thinking that Elohim himself could not slay the flesh which strongly contends against the Spirit within me. I have the very hope of my sanctification, Yeshua Messiah in me, the hope of glory. It is His will that I should be sanctified and He will perfect those whom He sanctifies through His blood on the cross. Therefore, I can rejoice because previously I could not; but now I can see the end of my flesh, the day is coming. Thus, the need and the guilt which is wrought on me cannot hold me against Him who has taken away my reproach, for He has forgiven me of my sins.

Though sin spirals downwards in chaotic fashion, where sin abounds grace super abounds. Hallelujah! Now my problems with the flesh, though they occur from time to time do not distress me anymore. All things will work together for good, even this to those that love Elohim; the called according to His purpose. I can see the unseen, the end of my flesh; its crucifixion, death, and complete burial of it and my true conviction, contrition, repentance, and conversion coming upon me. Truly Yeshua has taken my sorrows from me and given me a light soul for a heavy heart. A merry thanksgiving for my ashes. I am and forever will be in His care not because of who I am but simply because of Who lives in me. I end with what Paul says:

" There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in the Messiah Yeshua, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Messiah Yeshua hath made me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1,2)

-Friday, 9th October 2015, Day 32, 1828

Serving in the House

It's the first day on the job and I must say, it is grueling. What has been given me to do for the period of this month is to rebuild the fence around GP Mantin which has fallen down. Because of this many intruders particularly wild boars have been scavenging on our premise, guzzling down vegetation in the process. Thus, the work commenced and already I am feeling its aftershocks. Climbing up a steep incline while carrying burdensome loads sure makes a splendid first day. Nonetheless I give thanks for surely my own strength will have failed, but it is by the strength of Yahweh that we can carry on. For the joy of Yahweh is our strength.

My arms ache, but I am satisfied. For surely it is not man who calls me to do this. It is the Lord. So who am I, what right have I to complain against Yeshua Messiah concerning this matter when it was He who through the Spirit working in man gave me this job? Also, considering the strenuous labour of each day to come, the benefits far outweigh the negative. It is out on the field that we are truly tested, where our faith is really put through fire to see where our trust lies and in whom do we trust. I have found immense lessons just by rebuilding the fence: It is not the fences of man who protects this place but surely Yahweh who keeps and protects His house and people in it. Just like this Yeshua will once again build up the tabernacle of praise and worship, prayer and intercession; of David which has fallen down.

Ah, to taste and see that Yahweh is indeed good is so satisfying both to the spirit and to the body. Onward!

-Monday, 5th October 2015, Day 28, 2356

The Message and the Fire

Truly, what I have learnt here in the past month eclipses all the teachings of the Bible college I previously attended by orders of magnitude. Truly, Bible colleges are nothing more than a cheap imitation of the world's secular colleges. A long time ago, Bible colleges were exactly what it's name states; a school for the studying of the Bible, but now it is nothing more than a building filled with men's teachings and wisdom which according to James is earthly, sensual and demonic. The way the Holy Spirit teaches is not through classes or lecturers. It is on the field, more practical than theological. Just take David's life, he had not learnt how to kill Goliath in a classroom. He learnt it while he was shepherding his father's sheep's. He killed a bear and a lion, learnt to play the harp and had communion with Elohim while on the field. Daniel and his friends are no different. Through their great testings, their spirits were joined to the Spirit of Yahweh and they attained high position in the kingdom not because of how smart they were or how learned; it was simply because the Spirit of Elohim was with them.

This wasn't what I wanted to talk about, although sometimes being led by the Spirit we tend to move towards what He wants than what we want. Over the course of two days I have received two revelations. The revelation of suffering and the revelation of the message.

All who desire to live godly lives must suffer persecution. It is not a 'what if' or 'maybe'; it's a must. Thus, those who seek to follow Yeshua all the say must realise that His way leads to death before life and not, as most people talk about nowadays life before death. Because Elohim perfects those who are being sanctified and sanctification comes only through fire. Take gold, as impure as it is as long as it goes through fire all the dross shall be taken from it. Without the fire of sufferings in our lives how then can we be purified? It is through suffering that our faith is really tested, whether our faith is really in Elohim or not. It is also when our yokes and bondages over our lives are burnt of us. Daniel's three friends were all bound when they were thrown into the furnace. And yet it was in that fire which was supposed to be their deaths that they might their Giver of Life, Yeshua Messiah. When they came out, they were unhurt only that the ropes which bound them were burnt off. So the road that leads to the cross is suffering and death but beyond the cross is the life which we all desire. We cannot attain it if we do not take the same road of Yeshua Messiah who is our perfect example.

There is a message, and that message is Yeshua Messiah. He is the Word of Elohim and Elohim as well. If He does not abide in us, His words in us and we in him; how then can we share what we do not have? Many people; including myself at one time, Elohim forgive my impulsiveness preach to others what they themselves have not grasped. As Paul says, he preaches and desires to know nothing save Yeshua and Him crucified. We often go out intending to do Elohim a favour in advancing His kingdom when we ourselves have not come to terms with the message of the kingdom. If so then we are like Ahimaaz when he desiring to go bring news to David about the war against his son, Absalom when he has nothing to share with. He ran ahead of the Cushite who was sent out with the message and came to David first only to be set aside because he bears not the news which David seeks to hear. How often have we been like this in our ignorance. Let's get the message right before we impulsively go out, having nothing and giving nothing in return.

-Friday, 2nd October 2015, Day 25, 1834

September and more

We've come to the end of the month of September and are just breaking into the dawn of October. Truly Elohim has been merciful and gracious to me abundantly. Just like that, the month of seeking Yahweh is drawing to a close and the prospect of serving in the house of Yahweh excites me. Yes, there will be times when the work will be strenuous but I know that Yahweh will guide me continually, He will satisfy my soul in drought and strengthen my bones in the days to come. It's in His Word, surely He will do so.

The situation around Glory Place Mantin has been bustling as of late. It appears that we have an intruder of the sorts. Wild boar. Sweeping clean all the planted crops and vegetables, the boar appears to be quite cumbersome to say the least. Most recently my friend, Josiah and I during our return from the sanctuary after our prayer slot at 5am, we encountered that same wild boar. It was proportionally bigger than we had imagined and needless to say, it got to us. With a growl akin to that of a tiger (I kid you not), me and Josiah scrambled back home. Not our finest moment. Needless to say, we are once again reinforcing the fence surrounding GP to keep intruders the likes of them out and we in.

On another note, what am I to do with these notebooks that I have brought with me here? Although I appear to have an inkling to convert them into personal Scripture vaults, I am undecided. Ah, praise Yahweh. In due time it will all be brought into clarity. Goodbye September, into October we go!

-Wednesday, 30th September 2015, Day 23, 1754

The Fig Tree and Our Fruits

These two youngsters bamboozled me! Just recently I have been given a sweet pack during Yeshua Heals Miracle Healing Service (to which I will now refer to as Yeshua Heals) and was specifically told by my sister to not give as much as a single sweet to the two rascals, Dion; 9 and Philo; 8. Of course, they came swarming to me for the sweets to which I refused to give initially. But after their "alleged" asking of permission from their parents and utterly deplorable faces, I caved and gave them the candies only to find out I had failed the simple task given to me.

Now I have every chance to make noise concerning such matters but I won't. I failed and what is left of me is to learn from my mistakes and see the deeper meaning that Yahweh allowed this to occur to me. For one, the temptations of the devil are in many senses similar to this. Sometimes the most severe of trials come from the most unexpected of people or events. The enemy comes as a roaring lion and thus the need is there to be sober, vigilant, and watchful against his devices. Paying no heed to personal favouritism or such like manner.

What is otherwise notable is what Pastor John mentioned during the 2nd English Service at Semarak. He talked about the fig tree Yeshua cursed. Now He came to that tree hungry, looking for food but found none as it is not yet the tree's season of fruits. Thus, Yeshua cursed the tree to never bear fruit again. Now in the natural, why curse the tree when according to its natural courses the time of the tree to bear fruit is not yet? Couldn't He have just waited for the season to arrive? We are likened to be as branches abiding in the True Vine, Yeshua Messiah who without we will not bear fruit at all. Those who don't bear fruit, the Vinedresser; our Heavenly Father takes away and cast into fire.

What struck me like thunder was that who are we that Yeshua should wait for us? We are the ones who are suppose to wait on Him! When He comes again, it will not be according to our season of bearing fruit, it will be according to His. Yeshua will not wait for us to bear fruit and then He will make His appearance, He comes when He comes and He expects to find fruits worthy of our repentance and faith in Him. If we don't we are subject to the curse of being cast out of His kingdom in that day. For just as the people of Israel could not escape the righteous judgement which came upon them when they murmured and complained, how much more we now when we profess to be for Yeshua and outwardly despise His word?! For those who don't bear fruit the Father takes away. A deeply resonating revelation has been revealed. Praise Yahweh and let us not only hear Him, but to do according to all that has been said.

-Monday, 28th September 2015, Day 21, 0113

Every Beginning

It's been 19 days since Yahweh called me out of the world to come and serve Him in His house. September 7th 2015 was when it began. It is amazing to witness the hand of Yahweh, that same hand that led the children of Israel out of Egypt upon me. Truly Elohim is gracious and merciful towards someone like me; stooped in sin and wallowing in the rubbish of this world. There are millions and billions of people much more capable than me and yet Yeshua; He had decided to give His inheritance to sinners, tax collectors, thieves, murderers, adulterers and the like. That they, including myself who were once dead in trespasses should be made alive once again through Messiah Yeshua by faith.

How awesome it is to serve in the house of Yahweh. The desire of David, to dwell in His house forever being fulfilled by us according to the Word of Elohim. To me, such things like prayer, worship, and such are not tedious but rather pleasurable. They bring joy and a refreshing touch to my wearied soul. After so long in the world, I am at last free from its shackles and yoke of iron. All glory to Yeshua for in Him is my redemption, the coming salvation of spirit, soul, and body.

My term of seeking Yahweh is coming to an end in a week's time. After that, my service begins. The true testing of faith, character and spirit is beginning very soon. Yahweh guides me, in this I will be confident.

-Saturday, 26th September 2015, Day 19, 1847